You, Me, and All The Spaces In-between

CHAPTER 30

Leaving that hallway and re-entering the cafeteria felt like coming back from another dimension. Everything seemed different; the light streaming in from the windows was dimmed, the chatter filling the air felt distorted and hollow.

I made my way back across the cafeteria and sat beside Robert at our table with mechanical movements, barely comprehending the world around me.

"Alyx?" Robert frowned, peering into my face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said blandly, picking at the food I'd left behind. It was cold, and gross, but I forced down every bite to avoid answering the questions I could see brewing in Robert's eyes.

"Alright..." he murmured finally. "Well, Martin and Lucy left a while ago."

"Oh." I hadn't realised, but now that I looked up, I saw that he was right; we were the only ones left at the table.

"You missed a very awkward ten minutes," Robert added, stretching in his seat.

Guilt tugged at me as the implication of his words sunk in. "I'm sorry for ditching. I just..."

"Couldn't deal?" he supplied.

"Yeah." I scratched at the back of my neck. "Yeah. I don't like it when you guys fight."

The bell rang, and Robert waited for me as I stood and gathered my things.

"I know. But I just can't be around them right now," he confessed as we left the cafeteria. There was a real strain in his voice, a rare hint of vulnerability in the calm demeanour he usually maintained. "They're just...too much for me right now."

"That's fine," I said quickly, attempting to meet his gaze. I wanted Robert to know that I was there for him. That, despite everything, he could always talk to me if he needed to. "You don't have to hang around them if they upset you. I can spend separate time with you-Divide my time-"

"No," Robert sighed, drawing a hand over his face. "I don't want to come between you guys or anything. You've been a group for so long, it just wouldn't feel right."

"Robert," I began, resting my hand on his shoulder as the crowd ebbed and flowed around us, "what you want matters. Don't let your own needs and wants be ignored."

Robert hesitated, opening and closing his mouth as though he wasn't quite certain how to respond. "Okay," he said eventually, nodding.

"Okay?"

"Okay. And Alyx?"

I glanced over my shoulder as we continued walking. "Yes?"

"What you want matters, too." There was a slight hesitation to his voice, but Robert's expression was set into one of stern determination. "Okay?"

I smiled, and it was a genuine, heartfelt smile that lifted some of the weight from my chest. "Okay."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence as we made our way to AP Math, rounding the nearest corner and heading down a second hallway. The people around us had fallen into an easy, rhythmic stride, and we let ourselves be carried along by the natural flow of the lunchtime crowd, all of us moving as one entity.

That is, until I stopped suddenly, freezing mid-step and earning a lot of dirty looks.

"Dude?" Robert asked, pausing too. He must have seen my face and followed my shocked stare, because he suddenly exclaimed, "Oh no. No."

Standing a few paces away, leaning against the wall, was Casey Truman. She was talking to Cash, laughing appreciatively at something he had said, and I watched in horror as she reached up suddenly and pressed her lips to his.

I turned away at once.

They were kissing. Casey and Cash were kissing.

I felt sick. Nauseous. I knew I ought to keep walking, to pretend like the sight of Grammarville's most popular couple making out was old news.

Because it was. Old news. This always happened. They always got back together.

Always.

But I couldn't bring myself to continue on in that direction. I knew my eyes were wide, knew I looked like a deer caught in headlights.

But I just. Couldn't. Do it.

"Alyx, please tell me this isn't happening," Robert begged, grasping my shoulder as I started walking in the opposite direction.

I looked at him slowly, absently, like I was waking from a dream. I'd forgotten he was there for a minute.

"Please, Alyx." Robert looked worried for me-Concerned. And I couldn't figure out why.

"Tell me," he continued, with urgency in his voice, "tell me you don't have a crush on Cash Smith."

A/N: Thanks for reading! If you're enjoying so far, please leave a vote and/or a comment :)