The Winter Rose

Part 4

            My dad never loved me, Seth never loved me, my mom was never there, and no boy will ever love a girl with a past as awful as mine. I was a waste of space. If I wasn’t born my mom would still be with my dad. He wasn’t always a drunk, he was a decent man and because of me he became who he was. If I wasn’t here maybe my mom could have a decent life. Maybe I should just end it here, right now, at this very moment. Let my life clock stop at 8:30pm.

            I turned on my phone and sent my final thoughts and goodbyes to Seth, Martha, Christian and a separate message to my mom. I run to the bath room with blade in hand as I run the water. I step into the tub and the water was warm like a beautiful September afternoon. I placed the chilling blade to my wrist and began to push harder, cutting deeper into my skin. Feeling empty but yet so full of emotion overwhelming my brain. I place the blade on the other wrist and do the same. The blood, the wonderful sight I longed to see. My vision begins to go in and out like a broken light bulb. The last thing I see before I blackout is the slits in my wrist that are gushing blood all over the white tile floor and in the water, the last thing I hear is the faint sound of Christian’s voice screaming for me, and the last thing I feel is the warmth of the water as it begins to turn pure red. Just like my dreams it ends in me seeing the sight of bright red from the blood, while losing myself in the darkness.

            It’s been an hour since Alex found out about Seth and Martha, what they’ve been doing. The girl who was supposed to be by her side, the girl who was supposed to be her best friend did this to her. I couldn’t stand Martha then and I sure as hell can’t now. Suddenly my phone rings, Its Alex. I know this girl and she wouldn’t be talking in a group chat right now with both Martha and Seth until I read the message.

“Hey guys. Ha-ha I just want to say I “love” you guys. Btw Seth and Martha I know about you two. What you’ve been doing behind my back for four months. The funny thing Seth is that I actually thought I was enough for you. I guess I wasn’t for you to go and screw around with my best friend and Martha you’re a really bitch for this. I just wanted to tell y’all my final thoughts and wanted to say my final goodbye to the three most important people in my life. So this is it…Goodbye…” she sent.

“No…please don’t do what I think you’re going to do Alex.” I replied.

I didn’t wait to throw myself in my damn car. I drove as fast as I could down to her house. Bursting through the front door, screaming Alex’s name all throughout the house, but all I hear is the echo of my voice.

            I finally shut up and I could hear the faint sound of water running. At that moment before I even pushed the door down I knew what she had done to herself. Opening the door too a bloody mess as if someone was murdered, and someone was. I stand for a moment and watch in shock as the girl I’ve loved since I met her was dying. I picked her cold body up and ran as fast as I could outside the door to my car. There was no time for seat belts, no time for safety. I had to get her to the hospital before I lose her forever.

            Running every read light in sight till I reach that fucking hospital. I pull in front of the doors of one of the hospitals entrances and grab Alex’s unconscious body and carry her inside.

“HELP! MS. PARKS… ANYONE PLEASE HELP!” I scream as I’m carrying her into the hospital.

One nurse grabs a gurney and I set her down on it and just watch as they carry her away from me not knowing if she’s going to be okay or not. I look down at my hands and all I see is blood. The blood of the girl that I wish I could’ve saved sooner.

            Hours pass by and I’m still at the hospital waiting to see Seth and Martha rush through the very doors I carried Alex’s body through. I couldn’t control my frustration. They did this to her. She was clean for so long and those shitheads drove her so far over the edge that she tried to kill herself.

“Where’s Alex?” Martha comes up to me and asks.

I don’t answer her. At this point I can’t even look at her.

“Where is she!?!?” Martha pushes me to get my attention.

“I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE YOU HERE? HUH…YOU SURE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT HER WHEN YOU WENT AND SLEPT AROUND WITH HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND!! IF YOU DID, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS TO…” I paused to catch my breath and calm down.

“…now just fucking leave…and don’t bother coming back.” I said.

“Come on, I didn’t think she would do this…” Seth said trying to put his hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t fucking touch me…now leave…” I replied while pushing his hand off my shoulder.

            They wouldn’t leave. Seth began to yell and scream demanding to see Alex. He’s getting in my face and I get showered in his damn spit. I couldn’t take it anymore. I got tired of him yelling and have the god damn NERVE to call me an asshole, so I stood up, closed my eyes and swung. I opened my eyes and look down at my knuckles. Its blood again. Not mine, not Alex’s, but his blood. Looking to the ground I see Seth on the floor out cold.

            He finally shut up, so I sat back down and waited to see Alex. A doctor comes up to me with Ms. Parks to ask me some questions.

“What…exactly happened Christian.” Ms. Parks says choking and sobbing trying to spit out these words.

“Seth, her boyfriend, was cheating on her…she finally found out…and I guess…she snapped.” I replied while staring down at the ground.

“Well she’s lost a lot of blood and if you came less than five minutes later she wouldn’t have made it.” The doctor said as if that would make me feel better.

“She’s in a coma-like state and I don’t know when she’ll wake.”