The Winter Rose

Part 5

Weeks pass by I don’t know how many, but I’ve been by her side every day and every night to be there when she wakes. No one came to visit but me and her mom when she could. Every night I sat holding her hand, crying, praying to a god I don’t even know for sure if he exists. Each week she would move an inch. First it’s a pinky, then the next it’s her foot. Hopefully I will be able to tell Alex how I feel, how much I love her, how much it hurt me to carry her lifeless body out of her house and to the hospital. I want her to know that the only reason why I’m living today is for her.

            There’s something about today though. I have a feeling that today might be the day Alex wakes up. I haven’t been to school since Alex’s attempt. She’s all that’s on my mind. I’m worried all the time about her and afraid she’s going to wake up without anyone there for her. I don’t know why but today I felt like she was holding my hand.

            It’s dark; I can’t see anything, nothing in front of me, nothing behind me. There was nothing but a black endless room with no escape. Time seemed to stop in its tracks; all I could hear was the faded sound of Christian’s voice. Day in and day out every day I’m in my own personal hell. I try to move body parts to let him know I’m still here; a pinky, my foot, anything I could make move to get his attention. Suddenly I could feel him holding my hand. I tried my hardest to squeeze back. I tried to speak but I can’t no matter how hard I try.

            Hours later I was able to open my eyes. The first person I see was Christian, not my mom or anyone else just Christian.

 “MS. PARKS! SHE’S AWAKE!” Christian yells as he gets up and runs to the door.        

In pain, I look down at my wrist covered in two large, white gauze wrapped around each wrist. All I remember is closing my eyes waiting for the grip of life to slowly let go, but obviously it didn’t. The only person that was there was Christian, no balloons, no cards, nothing just him.

“Christian….” I let his name leave out my lifeless lips trying to sit up in the hospital bed I was placed in.

“No, no, no you lay down. You need to relax and please take it easy.” Christian says as he gently puts his hands on my shoulders laying me back on the bed.

“How…how did I get here?” I said softly.

“I’ll..I’ll be back and I’ll explain the whole thing later.” He replied as he left the room.

            I lie there, motionless, as I thought to myself. How could I be so dumb that I can’t kill myself? Doctors rush in, checking my vitals and the stitching that crochets in my skin. Christian came back in to the room and sits in the chair and waits for the doctors to leave.

“Christian…how did I get here…” I asked turning my head to see Christian’s face.

“When you sent that text…I rushed over and found you in the bathroom. I carried you out and rushed you to the hospital and you’ve been here for a couple weeks now…” He replied.

It only felt like thirty minutes. I can’t believe its been so long,but why? Why did he save me?

“Why did you save me Christian? Why didn’t you just leave me to die after how bad I treated you?” I replied.

“Because I couldn’t just let you die…you have a great future ahead of you.” He said while flipping his hair out of his face.

“How do you know that..i could just end up even worst.” I replied.

“’Cause you have me. I’ll always be here for you and no one can take me away from you.” He told me while holding my hands.

“Well when can I go home?” I asked.

“I have no idea, but it should be soon.” He said.

Before I could say another word christian speaks again.

“Alex I need to tell you something…I need you to know how I feel…about you. I love you. I’ve loved you all my life. I was too afraid that you’d reject me or that our friendship would be ruined all because of me. I love the way you smile, the way you talk, your eyes as they shine in the light as if you’re an angel just every thing about you makes me love you. When you tried to leave me because of that douchebag I wanted to go with you. Six years and I know the real you and that’s what I fell in love with.” Christian said while wiping the tears from his face.

Before I could even say any thing he leans in and kisses me. His red thin lips against mine. When he let go I whispered;

“I love you..”

            I realized he was there by my side through every thing I went through. He knows my past, he’s in my present, and hopefully my future. He helped me find my way out the dark forest to find the light and I helped him do the same. The past will always remain in my mind, on my arm, thighs, and hips, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is our future together, not the mistakes I made but the future that lies before us. Months later and we’re still together, he calls me his “Winter Rose”. I’ve heard that before I know that for sure, but I just cant put my finger on it. I’ve grown to like it because I’m his very own Winter Rose.