You are mine

chapter 37

I'll wait for the day when this desire will clutch you in its paws and you'll come to me for its cure before it devours you whole.

I rolled on the other side and clutched my eyes shut.

His breaths were even behind me.

You'll come to me for its cure.

I gripped the sheets, wanting to tear them apart.

Why God, why!

His words from this morning won't stop circulating in my head.

My sides hurt due to keep laying in bed for too long without a wink of sleep.

No matter how many times do I keep tossing and turning. There was no sleep behind my irises.

I'll go crazy at this rate!

I got up slowly. Wave of dizziness halted me for a quick second before I placed my palm against the back of my head. My lips were dry with sharp pinching at the base of my throat. I gulped down and felt a blockage there.

I needed water!

I Peaked behind me at his calm face, and stopped breathing with perked up ears. His breathing was still even.

Thank God!

I pushed the covers aside and lowered my legs on the ground. Biting my lips as the shuffling was way too loud. Or maybe I was just being paranoid at this point!

In the dim moonlight, I dragged myself slowly to the foot of the bed and over to his side.

Still with my one eye on him and another ahead-if that was possible-I reached out to the water bottle placed at his bedsite table and picked it up. It crinkled. I froze.

After a breath or two, my eyes rolled over to him painfully slow. Still no movement.

I felt my blood starting to flow again normally.

Clsoikg my eyes, I thanked the Lord million times.

He must be really exhausted!

I lowered down, resting my back against the mattress and rolled open the lid. I chugged down the water as if newly out of scorching desert.

I could feel it flowing down my scratchy throat, all the way down through the canal.

I left my insides moist. Enough to help me breath smoothly. Not in heavy puffs anymore.

I rested my head back, against his thigh. Just his warmth, his earthy scent, the count of my breaths, me on the cold floorboards was all that put my insides at peace.

Some of the anxiety crippling away.

By his side.

I was at home.

He was helping me without even knowing it!

I jerked up. My heartbeat suddenly skyrocketed.

My God!

Since when have I become this dependent on him! This attached. This vulnerable.

What would happen to me when he's not around!

Is this the last night I would ever be able to spend with him! The last time experiencing this closure? This proximity!

I turned around to find him sleeping like a baby. His chest slowly rose and fell. Like dancing to a peaceful melody. That only he could hear.

His hand lying aimlessly on his stomach. His shirt slightly lifted at the base, showing his navel.

These nights he wore his shirt knowing how uncomfortable and fidgety I would get if I saw him shirtless. He respected my space.