You are mine

chapter 50

Only couple of chapters are remaining. The story is coming to its end.

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Dragging myself through the woods didn't do a good job at hiding hovering clouds overhead.

They seemed to follow my trail to cabin.

Reaching the door, I tiptoed inward like a paranoid house cat, afraid of the suspicious cloud outside.

Pawing at the wall, I flicked the switch on and bent over clutching my ribs.

Each breath felt heavier than the next. Resounding in my ear drums.

The excruciating pain now seemed like a second skin to me. Always there. A constant in my life lately.

I took in the mess that my cabin had become now. My hoodies lying on the floor beside the couch that had rotten chinese leftovers in a one-half turned into mold already. Wooden floor decorated by little ants that seemed to have gained ownership of my cabin and freely paraded towards my kitchen.

I looked away.

I willed myself to take a step towards the stairs. My stomach grumbled.

Not now.

All I've been functioning on was the stuff doctors injected in my body and that for sure has already evaporated out of my skin up until now.

Climbing up the stairs felt like a hundred miles marathon while bricks are tied to your fucking toes.

Subtle scent of jasmine filled my nostrils as I burst through the bedroom and suddenly my eyes landed on the flowers ebbing away by the window that had a gloomy scene of clouds playing outside.

I could see her sitting on the window seal, staring out the gushing rain pouring down the glass window as the scent of the candle lingered around in the room.

I closed my eyes. Gulped painfully.

Opening them into the reality, I took in the golden heaven. Almost turned into a fiery hell of scorching oranges and red on the edges.

She had snatched away all the purity from gold.

Leaving just a papery facade.

Clenching my teeth, I stomped towards the window and flicked the curtains ahead in one full swoosh.

I couldn't stand the added melancholy.

The room turned too dark. The familiar kind of dark.

Lighting up the fireplace, I let my legs bend with pops and cracks and settled in front of a shadow of a lava burning in front of me.

The blues of the fire on the edges constantly struggled to blow upward, as if extending hands towards heaven. Seeking a way out.

But they were trapped there. Being pulled by the fire beneath. Kept in place. Imprisoned.

Raising my knees to chest, I rested my elbows on them. Blankly staring into the abyss.

The heat ebbing away all the pent up frost from outside. Melting it inside my bones. Slowly turning it into lava.

I let it.

I sat there until I couldn't feel my body. Couldn't feel the ground underneath. I opted to move my fingers but couldn't feel around whether they actually moved. I was hollow. But dense. My mind empty but something heavy in the back, pulling it down.

It was hard to hold its weight.

I wanted to explore that burden. Fumble through its contents. Seek out its root. But from Inside I just wanted to stay still.