My Love Proses

Prose 22: Depression

Ps: This contain trigger warnings. Please be guided.

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Black, no matter how dark, vast and painful, will always be a part in the colors of our lives. But never did we know that, the deadliest exemption out from it was to face death just by being alive.

Death is when you can no longer see any vision of yourself but a coffin of bones that lies within your soul. Death is when you can no longer feel your flesh but knives of blood, sweat and tears dripping down your eternal body.

Death is when you can no longer find your own voice in crowd but in the bleeding corners of a darkroom, screaming that you are alone with your entire life. Death is when you are alive, breathing— but dead, lifeless and forgotten among all humankind. And that death is what we called as Depression.

Depression has its own soul. Depression is omnipresent and can be seen everywhere. Depression is a living spirit any human in this world could certainly possess in just one blink of an eye. Whether how you greet with smiles, how you dance with laughter, how you talk with humor and how you act nor decide with instant happiness— depression is a life and death itself, where no one else had escaped out to survive.

Social interactions and intercourses are one of the major reasons why a man could intuitively suffer mild to heavy cages of depression especially bullying. Every single type of bullying; be it verbal, written, or with technological technicalities,were one of the causes that leads a person to severe humiliation, secluding themselves in losing self-worth and sense of mentality.

It dungeoned them from the freedom that they deserved, thus, those people who were culprits of bullying are prone in sealing victims into the world of depression.

Not knowing, that this common result will lead into the destruction of a person's life including being jailed to drugs, smuggling and other illegal discourses. Just like a certain man with several ambitions in the future, from a fine young child into a grown up man, depression expands and grow as we are inflicted with numerous problems and striking challenges in our everyday living. With result in this kind of oddity, it affects the person, whether his or her health, way of thinking and relating actions into probable decisions.

Depression is quite a short word to be read but it is as deep as the vast ocean in the Northern if comprehended and understand the most. This illness is vaguely sociable because we lived in the world full of social causes leading it into the hell of depression.

A human diagnosed with depression doesn't always cry, get wild nor scream in agony when depressed out due to family problems distinctively on financial miscarriage, siblings-parents complications, bloodline issues, factual expectations and lackage of intimate attention. Thus, they let depression fly for a moment and search for reason to smile even though it kills them.

A depressed person loves to comprehend, understand and weigh things first, before it will all be too late for them to accept constant changes— because once they were already drown in depression, it'll certainly be hard for them to swim back and breathe into life. A depressed person remains devoted and compassionate despite sheering intercourses.

Thus, those are the common lost pieces among family why a depressed member would choose to love mental wounds and scars instead of healing it to continue living— back to the way it was before.

Depression ceases you from struggling braver and be strong. Depression cuts your skin deeper and deeper until no drop of blood comes out from the ache you brought for a very long time. Depression fights back when we are weak enough to deal with the war of happiness and pain.

A defend between treacherous mind and dauntless soul. A battle of life versus death. But sometimes, depression always wins against us because it is strong enough on our own to make us lose ourselves apart from who we really are.

We often search for people that could make us feel loved when we're under the stress of depression. But never did we realized that not all people who could make us feel loved were the ones who could make us feel that we're alive as well.

Romantic relationships towards teenagers nowadays was different with the ancestral one before that's why most of the depression's patients were affected by the imbalance between certain things about love that needs to be focally understood upon its acquisition.

Misunderstandings and natural barriers in relationship could lengthen the strength life of a person, resulting to a most complex type of depression. Depression can be found in love itself that was already lost on its own way. This illness builds a challenge in love, at the same time, destruction to oneself when left all broken and alone.

No matter how much people tried to find positivity around them, if they consider negativity of happiness as a home, they won't be able to reach the perfect place where they really belong. If you think that killing yourself could help you with your burdens, then it is also a fact that you're killing the people around you as well.

Embracing death due to depression is like shifting your pain to other people who loves you the most.
When life drowns you hard, remember to live and breathe because you deserve it. When a storm crashes on you, remember that you are made of thunder and rain that will destroy the tragedy it has.

You are stronger than your depression because you are meant to live. You had the greatest bravery in life to survive depression for you could construct faith and hope, to be spread as a self-lessons to the world.


Depression may be life and death itself, but always remember that we are worth it and, we deserve to live and stay alive even if takes forever to prove our lifetime.