i loved you °mark

five

youngji

he left for a reason. it makes me feel bad that he didn't tell me why. exactly, why i hate him. why i want to hate him at the very least. but for some reason, i just can't. and it's annoying me. i hate him because i can't hate him, if that makes sense.

5 months of hanging out with them, i've started to get close with mark again, and also we'll be casting this one school play soon so i'll probably gonna have to spend TIME with him for practices. not gonna lie- he's a fun fun person to be with. though, it's still annoying how they tease us for every move with do that involves each other- it makes me feel awkward and anxious.

"are you dumb?!" jana hit jeno's head- her name's lee jana, bruh, i literally thought they are siblings but apparently they're not. and to be honest with y'all, i think they will look cute together.

jeno rubbed the back of his head as jana continued playing on her laptop- the door swung open revealing mark and haechan "guys the car's ready, let's go" haechan said and left first as mark watched me get up and take my stuffs. i walked to him and we exited the door together "aren't you-" mark was cutted off "shh hyung we're playing rank" jeno shushed mark "we'll follow after this" jana said not even taking her eyes off the screen. i chuckled at their cuteness and held mark's arm "let them be, let's go" he nodded as i let go of his arm and walked to the car with the other....couples.

jaemin who looks excited and hana who looks as tired as per usual. jisung and taeyeon sharing earphones as jisung slept on her shoulder. renjun doing digital art and hyejin writing her story on her laptop. haechan and hayoon bickering endlessly like the sweet couple they are. sighed as i got on the passenger seat and mark on the driver's seat.

mark started driving as i leaned me head on the window- everybody else busy. time has passed and mark then turned the radio on, i loved you by my bro's band- day6 started playing. i sighed and adjusted my body to a more comfortable position, trying not to mind how the song and my current situation and feelings towards mark fits too well as if it's made for me- us.

Truly I loved you
It's hard as much as I loved you
Though I want to hate you
I hate you more because I can't hate you

i closed my eyes trying hard to ignore it. but i really couldn't. my hand started to shake as i looked up at the cloudy sky and sighed again as we finally arrived. as soon as the car was parked properly- i got off quickly feeling suffocated inside. everyone else got off "leeeet's go" jaemin excitedly exclaimed as he pulled the poor hana to the gate. everyone else except me and mark also followed them excitedly "na jaemin slow down your tickets are here you idiot-" renjun, as he ran after the kid like guy.

i watched them with a smile as they skipped inside the happy place, amusement park. a hand then held my wrist, i turned my head and saw a happy and fairly excited mark- he wasn't looking so i smiled a bit, happy to know he's having fun. he then pulled me along with him as he skipped his way to others.

i let him be. it feels so good to be able to be with him like this again. but it's also frightening. i can't be too happy, cause if i,am. i'll cause big troubles later on.