Keeping The Ex-Gay

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9

HAZEL'S POV

Troy is truly blessed to have me as his best buddy. Without even a doubt, I left my comfortable life in Korea and came to the Philippines after 15 years to personally soothe him because he had voiced his suffering.

Troy was depressed for the first time, which is why I went to see him right away. Despite his hectic job, I've always known him to be a positive person. Never ko siyang narinig na nagreklamo tungkol sa trabaho niya o kahit sa pag-aaral niya dati. Ngayon lang talaga, ngayon lang siya nakakaramdam ng hirap, pagod, kalungkutan, at sakit dahil sa pag-ibig.

I haven't seen Troy's sweet smile or heard his genuine laughter since I arrived here last month. I can only see his eyes, which tell me how exhausted he is, but he kept trying... trying to take her back, despite the fact that he knows there is a small chance that Zella will love him again the way he loves her now.

I let out a long sigh as I sat across from him on the couch.

"I'd been missing her so badly!" Troy muttered to himself.

He was so intoxicated two days ago, and now he's drinking himself to death again!

My brows knitted together as I asked, "Will you please stop chasing for that woman, Troy?"

I wished he would quit. I'm sure Zella was in a lot of agony because of the heartbreak Troy caused her, and she probably still is, but Troy's efforts have been wasted! Naghirap na rin siya at tama na iyon.

Also, I recall what I told Zella the last time we spoke at the hospital, that I saw her getting envious when Troy introduced me to her—it was a lie. I was merely curious as to her reaction, but based on what happened, I believe Zella had moved on.

"She wants me to stop, and you want me to stop, but something deep inside me refuses to let go of her, Hazel! I love her so bad and I can't afford to lose her again!"

He wiped away his tears as swiftly as he could, but they continued to stream down his cheeks.

"You can't afford to lose her again?” I chuckled. “Troy, can't you see that you're losing yourself because you're trying so hard to take her back?” He gave me a wary look. I took a deep breath and continued speaking, "This is definitely not you, Troy. You should first build yourself and bring back the Troy Zella once admired and loved. If you've found your true self, you can just chase her again, but if you're this fragile and easily overcome by your emotions, you will never win her heart."

Hindi ko na rin yata naiintindihan ang sarili ko. I asked him to stop earlier, but now I've urged him to bring himself back before chasing her again. Well, I suppose I should look on the bright side. I'm not giving him false hope; instead, I'm encouraging him... to regain his love for himself

"But, I'm scared that if I ever found myself, Zella would already be taken or, worse, married. I'll totally get insane, Hazel."

He grimaced and went to get another bottle of vodka, which he drank swiftly.

"Then you're obviously not meant for each other, but at least, Troy, you found yourself."

He immediately shook his head. I sighed as I took a swig of vodka from the glass I handed.

"Listen, Troy, there are other women in the world besides her; you may still open your heart to someone else, someone who genuinely loves you, cares for you, and will never leave you in your ups and downs. As long as you're living, Troy, you shouldn't lose hope."