A Woman Like Me...

A Different Kind of Teenagerhood

     For the next few weeks, I was given the chance to grieve for my parents and do my best to settle into my new home.  I appreciated the opportunity that Edward was offering me and we, both, agreed that I should have my head in the game before beginning my training.   Not to mention, my new life took a lot to get used to.   My parents and I had lived fairly well, but the Waterfords lived extravagantly; my new house was more than twice the size of my old one.  It did not help that so far, Mrs. Waterford had been less than welcoming.

     Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep at night, longing for the ignorance that I once possessed.  I never had really known what my parents were up to; they were always very vague whenever I asked questions.  However, the truth was nothing like I had ever imagined.  I did not blame them for keeping it from me; I know that it was just their feeble attempt at keeping me safe.  On the other hand, what did they think was going to happen to me if something had happened to them?  Obviously, they had always intended for Edward to raise me, but how did they think that I would feel learning these all these things about their lives after they were gone.  Did they not consider that this would all be too much for a young girl to process?

     Now that Pandora's box had been opened and all of my parents' secrets were out; what had they expected me to do?   Had they wanted me to join the Waterfords?  Would they want me to go into the same lifestyle that had led to their demise?  Following in their footsteps, as I head down the same path to destruction?  What had they wanted for me?  What about what I had wanted for myself?

     As I took time to digest everything that had happened to me; I found myself experiencing a range of emotions.  At times, I would cry and wail into my pillow; begging for this all of this to be some terrible dream, that I would wake up from at any moment.  In other instances, I would rage and slam my fists against the walls in anger; cursing the Gods for taking my family from me.  In rare moments, I found myself accepting what had happened and coming to terms with it; with a newfound clarity about the adventures that my new life would bring.

     One night, when I was hiding in my room, unable to control my emotions, there was a light knock at my door.  I was not sure that I was hearing correctly, as there were few times that anyone came to my room, but the knock came again.  I rose from my bed and made my way towards the doorway, apprehensively.  I was not sure who was on the other side and each member of the Waterford family would require a different tactic and level of energy.

     "Mercy, are you there?"  A soft voice called out from the other side.  "It's me, Jay."

     I sighed.  Out of all of the Waterfords, I liked Jay the best, but I was not really in the mood to entertain.  However, I did not want to push him away either.  He was my age and seemed like a really nice boy.  Seeing as we would be living together for the time being and working together in the future, not to mention, getting homeschooled together for the remainder of our education; it would probably be a good idea to make a friend out of him.

     "You can come in, Jay."  I offered as I slumped back over to my bed.

     I plopped down onto the mattress just as Jay turned the doorknob and peeked through the doorway.

     "Hey, Mercy...how are you doing today?"   Jay questioned, hesitantly, as he glanced me over, carefully.

     "I am doing alright.  Why are you asking like that?"  I confronted him, not one to beat around the bush.

     "Well..." Jay started, rubbing his neck, sheepishly, before continuing.  "I can hear you from my room?"

     "What do you mean?"

     "I mean that I can hear you crying and yelling at night."

     My cheeks began to burn with embarrassment.  During my emotional outbursts, I was so caught up with everything that I was feeling that I had not considered that others may be able to hear me.