Chapter 4

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When Klaus woke, it was with a heavy certainty sitting in his gut like a stone. He'd had another one of those damned dreams, he'd been able to hold Dave again, to hear his laugh, but now he was awake and Dave was dead and Klaus was more alone than he'd ever felt before. Dave was gone and nothing would ever truly be okay again.

He felt tears prickling his eyes as he curled farther in on himself, a horrible ache in his bones, the bed feeling painfully cold and empty. He bit his lip, stifling a sob as he felt his grief flood back in full force like he was losing Dave all over again, like it was always waiting in the back of his mind to drown him over and over. He thought it might be less painful to have his heart ripped from his chest.

"Klaus?"

Sure, hearing a voice in his bedroom wasn't exactly rare, there were always ghosts screaming his name, even now he wasn't free of them as they lurked at the corners of his vision, but he would recognize Dave's voice anywhere. He sat up so quickly he felt disoriented as he frantically looked around the room.

And there, sitting in a chair by the window, was Dave, wearing pajama pants and a tank top that didn't fit quite right, not his uniform covered in blood. He looked concerned and a second away from jumping to his feet, gripping the arms of the chair like he was poised to launch himself forward. He must have seen something in Klaus' expression because he did just that, quickly moving to sit beside him on the bed, pulling him into a tight hug.

For a horrible moment, Klaus expected his arms to go through him and he almost told him to stop, he wasn't sure he could handle that right now. But then warm, solid arms were wrapping around him and he had to fight to choke back another sob as he remembered that Five really had saved Dave, none of it was a dream and they really were together again. Dave was alive. He was safe.

Klaus pulled him closer, holding him tighter until he was all he could feel, all he could smell, all he could see. Klaus was gripping him so tightly he was afraid it might hurt but he was so terrified that if he even just loosened his grip a tiny bit, Dave would disappear, he would be gone and Klaus would be alone again.

It took a while, but eventually, listening to Dave's soothing voice as he whispered comfort and reassurances, he finally started to relax. He'd stopped crying at some point and now that he realized, he took in a shuddering breath, quickly rubbing at his face as Dave readjusted so he could run his fingers through his hair, placing a kiss to his temple.

"You wanna talk about it?" Dave asked, voice hushed as he continued to play with his hair.

But what was there to say, really? Klaus had watched the life leave Dave's eyes. It didn't seem to matter that he was here and very much alive now, Klaus still didn't know how to move on, how to stop reliving the worst moment of his life, in a life already filled with terrible moments. There wasn't anything to grieve anymore, except maybe the months spent apart, but he'd been grieving so long he wasn't sure how to stop.

But then, while Klaus had to watch him die, Dave was the one who had to go through the pain. It didn't seem right to whine about it when he had it so much worse. Dave was here and he should be focusing on that, on being there for him. He didn't want to make this all about himself. He should be comforting Dave, not the other way around.

Klaus just wanted them both to be happy again. To put all of this aside so they could go back to how things were before, but better without all the war, preferably. So he pushed it all down, just feeling Dave against him and trying to focus on the present.

"Just a nightmare," Klaus said dismissively as he cuddled more closely against Dave, grip more relaxed than desperate, hoping he wouldn't press. "Better now."

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