The damn ringing was back. He tapped his nails against the desk to drown it out, anything to make that dreadful noise stop. It started when he was a child, he got hit in the ear with a baseball and got a pretty bad concussion. It drove him nuts, horribly absolutely nuts. Tinnitus, the cause of ringing in the ear, causes depression and anxiety in most. Tim tapped his foot and tried to drown it out with any sort of noise, but it seemed so much louder.
"Tim. Stop. You're disrupting the class." He looked at the teacher from under the fringe of his black hair
"S-sorry." He muttered, Tim got jittery when the sound came, he couldn't focus.
Teachers never understood his issue, figured it was something he made up for attention or something like that. He looked at the white sheet of paper in front of him, they were suppose to be taking a test, but that god damn ringing. Tim tried to focus on a different noise, one that wouldn't hurt his ears, the clock was too deep, the sound of chalk on the board was too creaky, the expo marker on the whiteboard was too squeaky. And then he heard it. The band room was right under his math class, he loved A days, it was the only time he got to hear the voice of the girl who made the ringing stop. He never knew who she was but he thanked god for her.
"Sweet dreams are made of this."
Tim heard the familiar techno beat, it was like the beat followed her voice and matched with it, instead of her voice being matched to the beat.
"Who am I to disagree."
He smiled as the ringing stopped, he looked down at the math sheet and flew through it, turning it into the teacher before leaving. Tim had to find this girl, for the last three years he had heard her sing but never got to know who she was. She was the only person who could stop that damn ringing in his ears. He made his way down the stair case, the band room was quiet from this point in the school, everyone else besides a select few were in the halls. The ringing was back and this time loud enough to want to drop him to his knees, he felt tears pooling in his eyes. Tim quickly made his way to the band hallway and he heard the voice again
"Some of them want to abuse you"
he found the band room she was in. It was the old auditorium that they used for vocal practice. People came into watch all the time, so it wasn't the big of a deal when Tim walked in. The techno beat bounced off the walls. Nobody was in here but the girl that paced on the stage, she stopped once she heard the loud door click. The music stopped and the ringing returned
"Oh. Hi." She tapped her foot.
"H-hi." Tim's face went red, even her regular speaking voice was beautiful.
"I'm Y/N."
The tap-tap-tapping of her foot quickened
"You're Tim right?" He nodded and he slowly made his way closer to the stage
"Y-you have a lovely voice." He could see her more clearly now, not so blinded by the very few lights on in the room.
"Oh thank you." She smiled,
"why are you tapping your foot?" He's asked out of the blue
"Oh, uh, I didn't realize I was doing it." Tim took a deep breath and tried to center his thoughts, the faint ringing was happening. The girl bit lip
Y/N started at the boy, she knew about the ringing in his ears, hell everyone did. She felt bad for the kid.
"How come you came in here?" Tap-Tap-Tap went her foot
"Your singing makes the ringing stop. Keeps me sane during math." He chuckled a little and climbed onto the stage, sitting in one of the chairs
"you're tapping again, you're like happy feet."
Y/N tried to stop herself but it was hard, if she didn't have sound, the voices in her mind clogged her brain and made her feel sick to her stomach. Sedatophobia, the fear of silence, often found in teenagers who have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She sat In the other chair and tapped her finger nails against the plastic seat.
"My singing helps you?" Tim nodded
"It's soft, I can't listen to music much anymore due to my ears. Can't go to concerts, listen to my favorite bands from before. But your singing, it- it helps."
He didn't know what he was admitting this to the girl who for three years was his unknown therapy. Y/N nodded
"What does it feel like? The ringing."
She mentally scolded herself
"It hurts. It makes my brain feel fuzzy and sometimes it gets to the point of making me want to cry."
Y/N nodded again "It makes me feel crazy, sad, anxious. The ringing makes it so I can't focus, it's hard sometimes. There's nothing I can do to make it go away but you singing, it makes it stop. So thanks."
She smiled, for the first time in what felt like years, she didn't tap or make a noise. His voice was nice, it was smooth, not like most sixteen year old boys who had voice cracks a lot. He made the silence leave her alone. Tim looked at his shoes
"I don't mean to be weird but will you sing for me?" Her eyes lit up
"I got an idea, let me see your phone." He handed his phone and she looked up something
"A couple weeks ago I got bored and uploaded this to YouTube. It's just a vocal track, no loud music, no background noise, just my voice."
She plugged in her headphones and placed them over Tim's ears. The soft sounds of her voice flooded his ears.
"Drink up baby, stay up all night."
Y/N watched as he shut his eyes, his body flooding into absolute bliss. The next three months were bliss for the two. He always had earbuds in, listening to her voice. Tim got approval to change classes around just so he could spend third period with Y/N in the vocal room.
Today was a bad day for Tim, he had these sometimes. The anxiety laced with depression, or maybe it was the other way around, depression laced with anxiety. The ringing wouldn't stop, his ear buds broke and his phone was being a dick. He walked into the vocal room, tears filling his eyes.
"It- it won't stop Y/N." Tim sniffled and covered his ears with his hands. She guided him to the stage and made him sit down
"Shh.. it's okay. Shh.." they sat on the floor, she gently pulled his hands away from his ears.
"I got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match." Tim slowed down his thoughts and focused in on her voice, closing his eyes.
"What a catch, what a catch." He felt her cold hands on his warm cheeks, her thumbs swiped away his tears.
"I got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match." When Tim opened his eyes, their faces were very close. He could smell her perfume, the one that smell like sweet vanilla cookies and the shampoo she used that was apricots and just how pretty her eyes were.
Tim never kissed a girl before, or anyone for that matter, he didn't really know how, or what to do with his hands or if he should tilt his head or if it was okay to touch her. So many anxious thoughts went through his head before he just did it.
In that moment, everything stopped, the ringing in his ears, the voice in her head. The sound of the students passing by the room outside. It was just them in their own part of the fucked up, depression filled, doused with so much pain and anxiety, world. But it was their fucked up world. This felt natural, his lips pressed to hers, hers pressed to his.
The tinnitus boy and the sedatophobia girl.
