DOLDRUMS [H.S]

2

I pressed it once, it didn't pain.

I did it again, same happened. It felt nothing.

I did it again and again and again. Just in matter of second a  bright red fluid started to coming out from my finger not from one particular spot but many. 

I stared at fluid coming out as it was something I've had never seen.

It hit me that it was my blood. I felt something in my stomach, after that I started feeling dizzy. I felt like I will faint at any time.

I walked slowly towards my bed and sat at the corner, with my legs hanging down. That feeling was over, the dizziness is over.

"Grace honey, come out sweetie" I heard my dad knocking on the door.

I started to panic, I don't want my dad to found out what I just did.

"I'm coming dad." I yelled from my room. Hoping he will go downstairs again.I ran into my bathroom, and took a cotton ball and wiped the blood coming out. I looked at the mirror. My eyes widened at what I saw. I saw a different person. I don't know her. Who is she?

Only thing I know is the person standing infront of me is  related with something deep and I know that I'm becoming her.
Without wasting any of my time I washed my face and ran downstairs so no one would suspect my actions.

"Hey, Dad" I said running towards him and hugging him as I was trying to comfort myself in that hug. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. The hug didn't last long and so did my comfort.

"Hey sweetie, want some ice-cream. I brought your favorite flavor." He said.
"Sure dad" I said smiling.

We all were sitting at the dining table. But only two of them were talking i.e, my dad and that bitch.

"Diana told me that you were studying all day, honey" my dad said. I nod in response.

Sure she said.

Dinner soon got over. I was sitting on my study table, chin placed on my knee. All I could think about what I did today. I know its not good thing but I can't believe that I even did that.

My eyes suddenly caught a shining object that was peeping through my bag on the table. I took it out in curiosity. But inside I knew what it was. I was looking at it as a child who looks at his new toy he just got.

I placed it on my index finger and I gently scratched the surface of my finger with blade. I did it again and again until the blood started coming out of it. This time the amount of blood was much more than the first time. And the worst thing was I wanted to do it all over again. I couldn't stop myself, because if I stopped the guilt and all the memories of my mom will come back flooding to me.

I soon noticed there was blood on the floor, my heart beat went double time. I ran to grab a cloth to clean the blood. I took the bottle of floor cleaner and poured it onto the floor. I wiped it everywhere I saw blood. I sprayed room freshener into the room, so that no body could suspect a thing.

                                                                        ******

Hi,

What Grace did today was not good and you shouldn't do it too. Trust me everyone is special in their own way.

 I'm so sorry if this chapter triggered you or something. I didn't wanted that to happen I'm sorry truly. 

If you're going through the same as Grace, please you're welcome to come and talk to me.

It'll stay between us only!!!!