The Unwritten Sin

Untitled Part 26

They began the uncertain trek to the ministry. There were dozens of the droids patrolling the streets instead of the PCP. They didn't have to use their pistols, however, and they concluded the droids didn't have any sense of hearing, which was good. They reached the doors of the church, and Neptune said, "I don't want to intrude. I can stay with the convent members. Going back into the ministry is....awkward for me."

"I understand," Wilder said, "wait for me."

Neptune nodded, and slipped into the makeshift infirmary to check on the convent members.

Wilder had never hurried up the stairs so fast. He had so many things swirling in his head. He wanted to spill everything out in front of James. He wanted to show him how deep his devotion was. He wanted to let him know that he felt something for him he had never, ever felt for someone before. He wanted to tell him that he was indeed his long lost lover. But he didn't have any idea how the priest would react, knowing their stance on the unwritten sin.

He paused before opening the chapel door, holding the pendent in his hand. Did James know? Is that why he sent him away with the pendent he himself had given to James in another life?

It was frustrating that he didn't remember any of this happening. It was annoying that he couldn't even access his own memories. He took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. The chapel was empty. Wilder searched the convent room and the entrance hall, before heading to James' quarters. James was standing with his back to the door, staring through the window. He wore a simple black gown, and had his rosary in his hands, murmuring to himself.

"Wilder, is that you?" he asked as the door squeaked open.

"Yes, Father."

James turned around. "I'm glad you came," he said. "The droids are swarming the streets now. I can't even leave if I tried." His eyes were red and swollen from crying. "I prayed for you."

Wilder stepped closer to him, extending his arms in an embrace. Father James didn't hesitate to meet his body. He inhaled deeply into Wilder's hair. Wilder felt there was nothing that could be said in this moment. He had so many things to say, and it was somehow all the wrong time. But keeping a secret like this felt like lying, and it was a terrible feeling that gathered in his stomach and made him sick.

"Father," he started. "I...I have something to tell you."

"Yes?"

He opened the locket, and showed him the thumbprint. "This was Ness' fingerprint," he said, "he mad it for me shortly before he died."

Wilder swallowed the lump in his throat. "I made it for you, Father."

James looked confused for a moment, and then defensive. "Wilder, I don't know what you mean by that. It's not amusing."

"No, Father, you don't understand." He held out his own hand. "It's mine."

James took his hand and inspected the thumbprint against the locket. "But how. The Machine doesn't replicate scars."

"It does," Wilder said miserably. "I saw it on October when they came out.....Father, I...."

James looked so betrayed that Wilder wished he had never said anything. He felt as if he were wrong and he was a just a big joke. James began to weep. He squeezed Wilder so hard he thought he would stop breathing. Wilder felt himself teary as he hugged James back. It felt so real, so natural. The one thing that he felt his soul had been missing.

"Wilder, it's been so long... Ness...I...."

"It's Wilder," he said, "I'm sorry James. I don't remember everything from that life. But I know that I love you. And through fate I have found you again."

"Thank the Lord in the Heavens," he breathed. "And forgive me for what I am about to do."

He took Wilder's face in his hands and kissed him; hard. His soft lips pushed up against Wilder's mouth, and he instantly melted into the kiss. He had only recently discovered what lust really meant, but this was love. Pure, open, unbiased, love. He knew now what it felt like.

James quickly shut the door, locked it, and drew the drapes. Wilder had never seen true happiness in the priest's eyes. He held Wilder's tense body in his arms, and said, "I never, ever thought I would see you again. I have worked so hard to be pure. To remember our journey together. But my love has never diminished. I would do anything for you. Anything at all. Wilder Monrow, will you make love to me?"

"Yes, James, I would like nothing more. Are you sure?"

James nodded, and Wilder had never seen him look so needy.

They tumbled together onto the bed, and caressed each other the way only long lost lovers can.

Wilder took off his shirt and dropped his jeans onto the floor. James, now only in his underwear, stroked the thin scars across Wilder's chest. He made eye contact, and bit his lip. "I'm so sorry," he said, "you don't know how much it means to me as a man of God that you chose not to reincarnate just to get the lottery right." He ran his hands up Wilder's hips, and kissed his chest gently. He pulled Wilder down on top of him, and the touch between their skin was electric.

They lay together, just relishing in the feeling of each other's bodies for a long moment, and then they melted together, and Wilder entered him, and James cried out in a mix of emotions, and tears welled in his eyes. "You feel amazing," he reassured Wilder, making sultry eye contact with him as he brushed a stray hair out of his face. "All these years, I have hoped for this moment."

They moved together as one, their sweet lovemaking so gentle and pure it was like the meeting of two souls entwined in Heaven itself. Wilder thought he was so happy, he could have died right then, and never woken up.