Not meant to be • Sirius Black

Part 1

Ever since you were little, you were enamoured by the idea of soulmates. It gave you immense happiness and hope; hope that there was someone out there in the world who would understand you like no other, who would be there to catch you if you fell, someone who would hold your hand through the darkest of times.

You saw the love, the connection everyday. You saw it between your parents. How still after 20 years of their marriage he would always give the first bite to your mother to eat. How they never left for work before kissing and telling the other to take care. You wanted that. You wanted the simple love. You remembered asking them one day about soulmates. Your father had laughed and put you over his lap kissing your head, as your mother smiled at you.

"Soulmates, my young lady are the highest power of our world. Long ago, soulmates were connected by birth and were very powerful. Because, how could you ever defeat true love? The gods feared them and split them apart, scattering them so they would lose each other."

"How did you find that mamma was your soulmate?" you asked as your father's eyes twinkled.

"When your soulmate first touches you, you feel an electrifying buzz run through your body. And then your wrist will have a star sign which will change colour according to the mood your soulmate is in. The sign is the place where the soulmates were first connected."

"So, are you and mamma invincible?" you asked with wide eyes as your mother giggled.

"Yes, as long as we have each other."

Sirius Black did not believe in soulmates. He would laugh and brush it off whenever someone mentioned them.

"They don't exist."

"But I have seen my uncle have a symbol on his wrist, my aunt does too."

"Well, they are very rare then and I don't believe I have one."

The thing was, Sirius was scared, he was scared of the fact that there could be someone in the world who would understand him like no other. Someone who would see him just like he was; nothing. He was a nobody without the bad boy persona he kept up. People liked him because he could make them laugh, because he was good to look at. Without all that charm and shiny exterior, he was just a broken boy. A love-starved boy who still tried hard to impress his parents. A boy who went through his childhood feeling like a trapped animal, who finally felt free and alive at Hogwarts. A boy who had mastered the art of concealing his face of the previous night's breakdown.

Sirius had given up the will to live long ago, it was his friends that kept him from drowning again and he would be damned if he let anything harm them. He couldn't for a moment believe that some else could ever put up with the mess he had become. It was better pretending that his soulmate didn't exist, because no one deserved to be with someone like him. And he accepted that, even though it hurt like hell.

***

You yawned as you moved to the library. It had been a hectic day. The Runes professor had given one of the most important lectures of the sessions and your hand hurt with how consistently you wrote. The arithmacy class had been no easier either, your head zoomed with the amount of charts you copied down. You tried to listen to what Sebastian said but really couldn't. You bumped into someone. You toppled forward but they held your hand, steadying you, as you felt a gush of electricity surge through it. You ripped it away and you looked up to see who it was. Your eyes widened as you saw Sirius Black, looking at you with the very same shocked expression. You quickly turned your hand to see your wrist which now had a star tattooed on it. Was this... Was he...

You looked at him, mouth agape, as the girl near him whined; unaware of what had just happened. You felt frozen, no it cannot be. No not him. Sirius couldn't be your soulmate. The girl dragged him ahead. You looked at your wrist again seeing the tattoo going through a swirl of colours. You were sure the one on Sirius's hand would look just the same.