"You may cry if you wish," Yideth said as she piloted the freighter out of the hangar.
You weren't used to crying in front of anyone. You looked away from her and into the darkness of space. The cockpit was only lit by the control panels. It felt safe in the dimness, and you closed your eyes to keep the tears from falling. It didn't really work.
"Master Kylo is suffering, too," she told you.
You wanted to tell her that that little piece of information wasn't helping. You already knew Ren was suffering. As the distance between you both widened, the more strain you felt. It was centered right in the middle of your chest, right where your ribs met. You wanted to shout for him and you wondered if he'd hear you. You couldn't imagine what it felt like for him, the stress of knowing he'd have to face his master and secret your very existence away.
You feared what his stress meant for the Star Destroyer and its crew.
Yideth jumped the ship to light-speed, and you covered your mouth to keep the painful sob at bay. Something inside you was going to snap. You excused yourself to hide away in a dark corner.
"Bunks are to your right," she called back.
You weakly thanked her and collapsed in a bunk which seemed unused. You wished you had never met Kylo Ren. Snoke might be the death of him, but Ren would surely be the death of you. The connection--bond, whatever--you had with him couldn't be healthy.
You tucked your booted feet under the great coat and prayed for peace.
-
When you woke, you felt better. You had not dreamt, nor had you shifted in sleep. You didn't feel as if you were on the verge of breaking, either. It was a relief.
After finger-combing your hair into the tie holding it back, you made your way to the cockpit. Yideth didn't greet you, but you knew she knew you were there. Through the windshield you saw the ship was orbiting a green world with swirls of white clouds. It looked like a precious stone floating in the sea of blackness.
"Where are we?" you inquired.
Yideth turned to you and said, "It's best you not know."
"What are we doing here, then?"
"We are here for you to collect kyber."
The only reason to need kyber crystal was to make a lightsaber. You hadn't thought that was going to be an option for you. Ever. And, besides, weren't the dark-force lightsabers made with synthetic? Weren't you more on the dark side now? You didn't feel particularly dark. Lor San Tekka might call you light-side still, but he'd always seen the best in you.
"I'm to have a natural crystal saber?" you asked.
"Master Kylo and I thought it best."
They'd apparently had discussions about you. Did the rest of the Knights know about you? Did they have opinions on your training, your lightsaber, your underwear?
"Are you ready?" she asked. "We can't be there long."
You sat down in the co-pilot's seat and told her you were. Mining for crystals wasn't very difficult since younglings used to do it all the time. You could pull a crystal from a cave.
Yideth landed between a plain of waving tall grasses and a range of softly rolling mountains. You wanted to run through the grass and feel it on your hands. You wanted to breathe deep the air and maybe find a brook to dip your toes into. You told yourself you'd find out where you were and come back at a later time.
The warm air on the planet was sweet with the smell of grain. You could feel the pull of the mountain. The kyber called to you. You left your great coat on the ship and walked around to the mouth of the cave. You looked back once to see Yideth watching you, so you waved to her. She didn't return your wave.
YOU ARE READING
Pet | Kylo Ren x Reader | Precious Pet Series | Book 1
FanfictionYou are the ward of Lor San Tekka. Everything is going just great until Poe Dameron visits one night. Relevant tags: Inappropriate Use of the Force, Stockholm Syndrome, Force-Sensitive Reader, Morally Ambiguous Reader, Slow-ish Burn, Departing From...