CORNERS

Let My Return Be In Peace🍀

It looked all vague and unclear,
Dozens of  people surrounding me ,far and near,
Words I tried to utter but myself was unable to hear,
Horrified and engulfed in fear,
Tried to lift my hand,
Which had always worked on my wish & command,
But now out of control like a slipping sand.
Taking in sharp breaths,
Mustering all the remaining strength,
I sat up despite resentment.
To understand how I subsumed to this state,
Lying so early on deathbed could not be my fate,
There was so much left for me to see & create.
But seeing myself I got afraid,
The beauty for which I was praised,
Was now lost and decayed,
How could I lose all without experiencing any gains?,
I am still so young!,
How can death be so near, drove me insane!
Things that I have been proud of,
How can they be so easily lost,
People , I looked down upon,
Now gawked me with their expressions of fake forlorn.
The looks ,praises,clothes ,jewellery that encapsulated my life,
Inflating me with pride,
But O how unfortunate I am....to be too late to realize ,
That it was all nothing but only & only lies.
Drunken I was with worldly wines,
Oblivious that they were distancing me from Divine,
How leisurely HIS commands I had defied,
Eyes I had but still I was blind,
Chasing worldly glamour thinking I had time.
Never in HIS remembrance I had cried,
Only for selfish wants I had obliged,
Long forgotten my CREATOR  when wishes were satisfied.

Consumed in reading statuses and comments,
Checking messages often,
I didn't realize when words of ALLAH became foreign,
When my heart became barren,
With nothing left to blossom.
Imbecile I was ,
To be captivated by fake flowers,
Too focussed on stars,
To become blind to its surrounding dark.

I had always thought that I had long journey ahead,
That much time was left,
To compensate and repent,
Till then enjoying the life to the best,
Was my motto and what I had dreamt,
But now is my heart's lament.
As engulfed in these,
I bartered my deen,
And now when I see,
My death near,
Clasping me in an inevitable fear,
That what will I show when I will appear,
Before my lord,
Will HE even see a sinful soul like me was another thought,
Haunting my heart,
Harrowing fear trembling me apart,
That I was among the lot,
To whom HE immensely abhored.
Raging fires and deafening shrieks echoed
In my soul,
Resonating the lores,
Of people of Hell,
Then my breath started to become shortened and my view became darkened,
Was it already the time of arrival
Of Angel of  Death.
Would I be forgiven if I repent?
Tears trickled down on their own,
Sobs and whimpers of others started to roar,
But now only one wish echoed in my core,
One more chance to cleanse my soul,
To repent more.

Then a foul smell engulfed around me,
And I got a glimpse of the most horrific face I had ever seen.
I shrieked and screamed,
But nobody paid me any heed,
Undescribable was the pain that thereon proceed,
Scorching my soul,  making it bleed,
Feeling strangled and struggling to breathe,
Flashes of my sinful life reeled,
Before my eyes,
The life that was full of greed and lies,
Ignorant of all the guidance and signs,
The body resonated with soul shrieks, cries and mourns,
As it was pulled like a wet piece of wool over a bush of thorns.
Eyes transfixed , agonizingly i watched it go,
Unendurable it was,pleading for one more chance, I jolted up shouting, 'No'!

Surrounded by dark,
Was I in my grave at last?
Submerged in sweat,
I realized i was not in grave but on my bed.
Realising it was all a nightmare,
I broke down into tears,
Shivering with fear,
What if it would had been real?
An everlasting ordeal,
Haywire with emotions & feels,
I bend down and kneeled,
To let the tears plead,
To be absolved of every misdeeds,
To finally ask, what my heart really needs,
To be among those who believed,
To be among those who are close and near
To AR RAHEEM,
To be among those who lived to please
AL KAREEM,
To be among those whose death are like dream,
An end of wait and finally able to meet
The RABBIL AALAMEEN,
I prostrated devoid of deceit and greed,
To declutter, detoxify and to be freed,
Still shivering with soul shrieks I had dreamed,
I wailed out making only one appeal,
O Lord , nightmare it was, let it not make it reality,
I accept I am a sinner but let not my end be a tragedy,
O Lord, to YOU I belong ,let me return to THEE,
As YOUR  beloved ,believer & not as an enemy,
Weak I am my LORD ,I agree,
But when the Death come to me,
Let me be already in dead in love of THEE,
Until then ,let me hold on to THEE,
Until I live , until I breathe,
Let my heart and soul resonate with remembrance of  THEE,
O Lord! Shield me from the scorching fire and heat,
Let my death come like a sleep,
Let my return be in peace,
O Lord!Let me return to YOU in peace.

Bismillah

Task to do before you end the chapter : Recite Allhahumma barikli fi mauth ,wa fi ma bádal mauth (O Allah bless me at the time of death and after my dearth) atleast 25 times...☘️

Do remember me and entire ummah in your duas

Before I end one more small request plz twinkle that star with yelow light as it fills my heart delight and do comment if you like it it would mean alot and acts as a booster you know ....♥️😊

Faqat e abd e Rahmana
Sadaf

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu☘️