Never Got to Apologize

Bahrawar Khan looked out from the window, thinking about what he had said to his brother. All he knew was that he had been nothing but rude. He wished he could go back in time and change the way he'd talked to Arman earlier.

Bahrawar turned to look at Arman, who was fast asleep - or at least he thought so. Arman was Bahrawar's twin, who was born three minutes before Bahrawar on December 14, 1999. They shared the same appearance, but had totally different personalities.

Bashawar was tall, with muscular body. His hair were the lightest shade of brown with a tint of golden. Armaan was the identical copy of his youngest brother.

Bahrawar stood up for not only himself, but the people around him who he cared about. In contrast, Arman was a bashful and timid boy.

Today Bahrawar fought with Arman about how he let Rahim, take him out on a cricket match on purpose. He told him how he was weak, but after seeing the tears in his eyes, he wished he hadn't. Bahrawar's stomach flipped at the thought what would have happened to Arman, if Arman was alone without having himself as his brother.

Arman Khan was always grateful for Bahrawar, but sometimes he hurt his feelings. Was it my fault that I wasn't born confident like Bahrawar? He thought to himself as he quietly laid down in the bed.

He repeated the earlier event in his head.

"When are you going to grow up? You're a pathan, act like one," Bahrawar spat out in anger.

Arman held his head down, not looking at his twin brother.

"Sorry," he had mumbled, looking at the ground with a blurry vision. His eyes were full of tears as he walked away from Bahrawar. He thought for a second Bahrawar was going to apologize, but he didn't.

Another thing Bahrawar had other than confidence was his anger. His blood boiled like the heat in July, the month in which they were born. Sometimes he would talk with their parents in a loud voice, which Arman has never done.

Arman thought about what he would've been without his brother.

Across the room, Bahrawar was standing still by the window, just looking out. Arman wished he could know what he was thinking about. He would pay a million rupees just to make him talk. He tried to sleep without turning over in his twin size bed.

He waited for Bahrawar to say something as he made his way toward the bed next to Arman. Bahrawar hoped that Arman would soon lose his timidness, because "Arman" meant hope.

Should I apologize for letting Rahim win the match? This thought crossed Arman's mind, but he kept quiet. He knew better not to tell Bahrawar about Rahim bullying him behind his back. If he did tell him, Bahrawar would have kicked Rahim's ass, which would make their aba mad. Their father already had high blood pressure these days, so he couldn't take the chance of making his father angry. Bahrawar would probably get beaten up by dad, which Arman didn't want. He hated seeing anyone mad at Bahrawar.

Both the boys stood 5'4", had the same dark brown eyes, and the same black hair. Bahrawar was a little more muscular than Arman, since he worked out with the boys in their neighbourhood. Bahrawar had asked Arman to join him with his friends, but he always kindly declined his offer.

'I will apologize tomorrow morning,' Bahrawar promised himself before falling asleep.

~~~

"Veer, wake up." Brother. Zarmeenay whispered into Arman's ear the next morning. She was a pretty girl with hazel eyes and light brown hair. Arman stirred in his sleep, and pushed her hand away from him.

Zarmeenay was their alarm clock, who woke up before anyone else.

She tugged on his blanket, which was wrapped around his body. He finally opened his eyes, and saw the light of her eyes as she stood by his bed. He picked up her small light body from the ground, and placed her next to him. She giggled uncontrollably when he started to tickle her.

"I swear if you don't stop, I'll kick you out from the room," Bahrawar yelled and shifted angrily on his bed.

His voice reminded Arman of the event last evening, and his heart sank in his chest. Zarmeenay stopped laughing, and got out of the bed.

"Aba is calling you to pray," she whispered, her voice full of hurt. She slowly walked away and when she was about to open the door, Bahrawar called her name. "Zarmeenay."

She turned around with a huge grin on her face, showing off her missing front tooth. She ran to Bahrawar and threw her small arms around him.

Arman watched them quietly with admiration. He liked the kind of effect Zarmeenay had on Bahrawar. Quickly getting up from his warm bed, Arman headed toward the bathroom. He prepared himself to get ready to pray. When he got out Bahrawar was already ready to go to the near mosque.

Without saying a word to each other they left the room together. Outside, their dad was waiting for them.

"Salam Aba," Arman said hi to this father, and Bahrawar mumbled the same after him. Gul Khan replied to them with a smile, and he began to walk out of the house. The boys followed after him.

They didn't try to take each other's beanies off like they usually did every day while walking on the road.

After praying, when they were strolling back to their house, Rahim's voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Aba, we won the cricket match yesterday," Rahim proudly told his father while walking on the other side of the road.

"Yeah, won by cheating," Bahrawar mumbled under his breath. Gul Khan sent him a disapproving look, and continued walking before giving a smile to Rahim. He didn't like the boy Rahim, but he knew Rahim's father, so he remained quiet.

Just like everyday when they got home, Zameenay was waiting for them by the gate. "Baba!" Gul Khan bent down so his beautiful daughter could run into his arms. He hugged her, and motioned to his sons to come give him a hug. He embraced his three kids. Bahrawar looked at Aba as if he was kidding. It wasn't everyday when he gave them a hug.

The hug was broken when their mother called them in for breakfast.

Bahrawar was looking forward to talk to Arman when they were alone, which was going to be during their free time. They both were in 9th grade and had a couple of classes together.

They ate their breakfast in silence, except Zarmeenay who couldn't stop chattering with their dad. She was telling him about how she was going to recite a poem in front of the class. Her dad told her he was proud of her as he kissed her on the forehead.

Gul Khan gave them their pocket money for the day, so they could buy lunch from the school's cafeteria. Their mother, Amina, scolded her husband for spoiling them.

After they were done dressing up for school, the three siblings left the house. On their way, Zarmeenay stopped at front of a store and gazed at the doll which was on the shelf. It was a Barbie doll, which she adored with all her heart. Bahrawar followed Zarmeenay's gaze, and he sighed at her obsession with dolls. Bahrawar caught Arman looking at the doll too, and he searched for his money in his coat's pocket.

Zarmeenay squealed with happiness when Bahrawar took his money out too. Bahrawar smiled at his sister, and waited for her to hand him her money too. She frowned as she gave away her money away, which she was planning on saving for chips for lunch.

Bahrawar took the money and walked inside the store. He paid for the doll, and gave it to Zarmeenay, who hugged her brothers.

Once again, they started to walk toward their school. They only had five minutes till the principal would close the gate of the school, and there was a fine for the students who walked in late. They couldn't afford to be late, since they spent all of their money on the doll. The walk to school from their house was just about seven minutes.

"I'll drop her off," Arman said.

Bahrawar didn't let go of his sister's finger until he kissed her on the forehead. She giggled lightly, and kissed him on his cheek. Then the two siblings walked toward the elementary campus, where Zarmeenay's class was. They walked through some corridors where little kids were already heading towards their class. Arman lead his sister to her class, and gave her a peck on the cheeks.

"I'll pick you up after school," he said, and ran toward his class. He didn't wanted to be late for his Art class. The teacher marked him present as he walked in. He sat next to his best friend, Ahmed who saved him a spot.