the chariot 12-20

13

Thursday morning started off the same as any other day did now. Draco had got dressed and disappeared off to the sixth floor going to 'their' room. He and Harry had decided that depending on who arrived first - they would wait for five minutes. If the other did not show within that time, then assume they had been held back and leave. But that rarely ever happened. After spending the whole night alone, they were anxious to see each other in the mornings.

As much as he tried to deny his feelings, Draco knew that he was sinking deeper and deeper into Harry. This past week had been a roller coaster of emotions for him. In the moments away from Harry, he mulled over the situation and tried to come up with an answer to his turmoil. It would seem that he had made up his mind once and for all, but then he would see Harry and his resolve would crumble to dust and get swept away with the wind. He thought he had made his decision but then change it again within seconds of seeing Harry. That's what had happened yesterday. He had been planning on talking to him when they had met by the stands last night, but then Harry had smiled and all Draco's mindful thinking flew out of the window. Last night had been so nice.... Harry had been funny and so bloody cute.

But anyhow, he didn't want to talk about his concerns to Harry. That would indicate that he had been thinking about 'them' and he didn't want to be admitting that at all. He did not want to appear indecisive and unsure. He was – but didn't want Harry knowing that. Harry seemed so self-assured so much of the time. Like he knew what he wanted to do and just went ahead and did it. Just like that. He was intrepid and as much as Draco admired that in him, it annoyed him also.

He wished it wasn't so hard. He wished that this whole situation wasn't wreaking havoc in his head and that he felt ripped into two. Having two such contradictory halves was draining to say the least. He could make like an ostrich and shove his head in the sand, but how long could that last? Something was going to give somewhere wasn't it? It had to. It scared him to think of Harry and himself in the future, because he couldn't see any future for them at all – together.

No one would accept this, and Draco wasn't sure that he even wanted people to. How sick and screwed up is that? Very was the answer. He just couldn't make up his mind. He knew what he felt for Harry was not purely sexual much to his horror. He'd had ample opportunity to have his way with him last night and he hadn't taken it. As much as he had wanted to, he hadn't, couldn't. It wasn't right to do such a thing when he was having doubts. It wasn't fair to Harry. Especially when he gave himself up to Draco with such abandon and trust – to take advantage of that was low. Draco wouldn't.

He went inside in the room and Harry was already waiting for him. He smiled brightly as Draco neared him, his arms ready to embrace. Draco felt Harry wrap around him safely, and his previous thoughts trickled out of his head as expected. He looked at Harry's face and Harry smiled broadly. It was so genuine and pure. Harry smiled a lot when they were together. Draco grinned back.

'Good morning,' Harry whispered and softly kissed Draco's lips.

'It is now,' Draco replied, kissing him back.

He was rewarded with yet another smile and held Harry even tighter.

Harry kissed his forehead and slipped his fingers through Draco's hair. He dropped his head onto Harry's chest and closed his eyes. It was easy to forget the outside world when he was like this. Nothing mattered except Harry. When he shut out the whirring thoughts in his head, he had peace.

It was safe and warm in Harry's arms. Everything melted away. His body felt cold, and strangely alone by itself and he only found solace in the perfect companion of Harry's body blanketed against his. Dependency of that extent was bad surely? He pressed his nose into Harry's jumper, as Harry stroked his hair and back soothingly. What were his options he mused? Alone he deliberated, considered, pondered, till he nearly drove himself stir crazy. So his other option would be? Attaching himself in a permanent state to Harry, thus leaving him no room at all to do any thinking of any kind- just thoughts about how good it felt to be with Harry. Yes and life is that simple.