the chariot 12-20

18

Harry heard the door snap shut behind him and stood frozen to the spot for a minute. He felt numb and completely and utterly stunned.

'YOU CAN'T BE THAT BLOODY DENSE! YOU THINK THAT YOUR'E SO FUCKING GREAT, THAT YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND HOW I CANNOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU?! I DON'T CARE OK? DO YOU HEAR ME?'

His thoughts were swirling dizzily in his head and he could not believe it. His heart would not let him. Draco did not care for him? It had all been an act? Draco hadn't been honest?

They had not really said much to each other to dwell on honesty and whatnot but Harry's simple, yet provocative words, had prompted the undoing to the whole charade.

'At least then I'd know that you're being honest,' he had said.

But he had not expected that kind of honesty. Thoughhow terribly naïve of him to expect anything else.

'It wasn't what you thought it was,' Draco had explained, sounding extremely bored and offhand.

And what had Harrythought it was? A relationship?

Yes.

Stupid him. How quaint of him to think such a thing. How droll.

And why had this travesty been pursued?

Because, ' you kissed me and it pissed me off that you dared to, so I found you and the rest followed...'

Because Draco wanted to see how far he could get with Harry.

Because,' you don't have parents, so you have the need to take away other people's.'

Because of a multitude of reasons, none of them because Draco felt the same way about Harry as Harry did for him.

Funny thing, Draco could have got a lot further with Harry had he wanted to. Harry had given him ample opportunity, but Draco had not taken it. He was probably repulsed at the thought of having any more close encounters with him, Harry thought bitterly. He felt the heat of embarrassment burn his face and could almost taste his mortification. Insecurity was rearing its ugly head and he could not help but be consumed with self-doubt.

'This is all about YOU.'

He looked at the closed door and imagined Draco on the other side of it, mopping his brow- thankful that he had got rid of Harry. He was probably going to Scourgify himself now wasn't he?

A sudden thought struck him. This is what Draco had wanted to say to him last night. He had started to say something and then stuttered and came out with,' I can't stay for long tonight,' crap. Why hadn't he said it at that point? What had made him change his mind?

Harry could guess the reason why. Draco thought that he would dangle Harry on for another night and have a little more fun with his stupid ignorance. He thought he'd have a quick grope and a kiss today and then dump Harry spectacularly straight afterwards. He could not begin to fathom Draco's behaviour at all. He tried to grapple with the realisation of what had just happened. Had Draco ever enjoyed their time together? Harry winced. What if Draco always wiped his lips clean once Harry was out of sight? What if he rinsed out his mouth to rid himself of Harry's taste after they parted? His breath hitched at such a crushing thought.

He'd been dumped like yesterdays rubbish.

Harry's mind drifted back to when Draco had first walked into the room. The way he had kissed him, with so much emotion and hunger – it had seemed. He had been in awe of how Draco had held him, and so amazed and thankful. Yet mere moments later, Draco had ripped it away from him. The passionate undercurrents Harry had felt from Draco were not remotely akin to what he had thought they were. Not even close.