"I take back what I said the first time we met. I never could have been more wrong."
"Oh, and what would that be?"
"Every thing about you - every thing you do, or say, or even when you scrunch your nose when you don't really like something - just ma...
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THE HEAT AND HUMIDITY OF Florida were oppressive. The moment I left the air conditioning (which was far too cold, might I add) I felt as if my airways had constricted. Each breath required more effort than I was used to and I felt strangely empty. Sure, I was used to the humidity, seeing as the air of La Push was always dense from the last rain. But this wasn't a good form of humidity; it didn't feel as natural. It seemed almost as if I inhaled more pollutants than I did air. Nevertheless, I grin and bear it. Following behind my sister, I move thoughtlessly as she stands on her tiptoes to search for our mother.
It didn't take long, seeing as shortly after, a woman began to yell from the window of a sedan. "Bella! Bella, honey!"
"Here we go," I grunt, lowering my head and following after ana overly excited Isabella. The smile hadn't left her face since we landed. It was no mystery to me that Isabella preferred warm weather. Of course, the idea made me smirk when I realized that she wouldn't be able to enjoy it if she decided to become a leech. I found a sarcastic, almost sadistic, sense of humor in the fact that the two things she loved most of all were completely contradictory. Then I remembered my conversations with Cassie. More often than not, she'd told me to try and find ways to mend my relationship with Isabella. She had sounded a lot like Art during these lectures. Though, I could hardly find myself listening to them. I had tried to let Isabella in before, and I had been burned. I'd learned early on that Isabella was a very selfish creature; I wouldn't be able to connect with her unless our interests aligned. And more often than not, her interests aligned around the Cullens. And I knew that would never happen.
"MOM!" Isabella shouted, running towards our biological mother. I hadn't considered her a mother in years, but for Paul, I'd try. Isabella ran towards Renee, jumping into her arms with a wide grin. Saying nothing, I took Isabella's bag in my other hand and followed her towards the sedan. God, this was going to be a weekend from Hell.
<>
I was right. My mother had barely said hello to me before pulling Isabella into a conversation about everything she'd been up to while in Forks. Renee had said a few choice words about the small town, though I didn't bother to defend it. I didn't want to start another argument about it. The Jacksonville sun was nice, I will admit. The heat on my skin reminded me a lot of my summer with Art, and it was rather peaceful. But, I was with the two people who always seemed to make me angry. So I spent a lot of time breathing near the water. My toes were constantly playing with the sand, and my eyes remained closed. I needed to keep calm.
When I tried to talk with my mother, she just gave me short answers. It was clear that I wasn't the person she wanted around. Again, I didn't mind much. I didn't want to be around her either. For the whole weekend, I hardly said ten words to my mother. The most influential words were "hello" and "goodbye". I had tried to start a conversation or two, but nothing ended up being anything. I really had tried to take Paul's advice; this would be an important moment for me to get to know my mother. But she didn't seem to give a shit. All that mattered to her was Isabella. I didn't know what I had been expecting. Everything had always been about Isabella when it came to my mother. Phil was pretty nice, though. The two of us ended up in conversation while Renee and Isabella were consumed with one another.
I had learned a lot about Phil, and he seemed to be a pretty decent guy--way too good for Renee, anyway. He was very passionate about baseball, and while I didn't know much, I didn't mind talking to him about it. He explained most of the rules to me, the grin never leaving his face. There was only one moment when Renee and I were alone. Isabella was on the phone with Edweirdo and Phil was at practice. My feet were playing in the chlorine water of the pool when I heard my mother walk over to me. "Good afternoon, Josephine," she noted.
"Afternoon," I nod. My mind raced with what to say next, but I couldn't gather my thoughts quickly enough for Renee, it seemed.
"So, Bella tells me you have a boyfriend."
"That I do," I agree, clearing my throat awkwardly and nodding. "His name is Paul; he lives on the Quileute Reservation."
"I also heard that he's a bad influence." There was a disapproving tone in her voice that made my stomach twist in knots. No, she didn't get to judge me for anything, especially not after all this time. And I had no trouble realizing that Isabella was telling my mother all the horrible things she could about Paul, even if they weren't true.
"Isabella tell you that?" I ask, snorting humorlessly.
"It doesn't matter who told me, all that matters is that I know. And I don't think you should be dating him."
"Like you have the authority to tell me that," I note, rolling my eyes. I knew I was being a bitch, but I couldn't help it. Renee opened her mouth to retort back, but I beat her to it. "Look, I didn't come here to fight with you. I came here because, in truth, Paul told me to. He wanted me to try and mend things with you. And while I knew it probably wouldn't work, I still came."
"Sounds controlling," Renee retorts, and I have to hold back a snort. If she thought Paul was controlling, she should see Edweirdo Cullen at his prime.
"Not at all," I answer, trying to keep my voice level. I'm doing this because Paul was right, I chant like a mantra. "Paul's mother left him. Not much unlike you, actually." I can see the shouted statement she'd about to come out with, so I keep talking in the hopes of keeping her quiet. "Before I left, he told me he thought it was important that I come; that I never knew what could happen if I got to spend some time with my mother."
"Oh," Renee mutters. I can just barely make out the traces of regret on her face.
"Of course, he doesn't know you as I do. And, I had been right. But he made me remember that sometimes people deserve another chance, even if they blow it and ignore you like a cactus sitting on a windowsill."
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I AM SO SORRY!
I KNOW I ALWAYS SAY CLASSES ARE HARD AND THAT THEY'RE MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WRITE, BUT THEY ARE, AND I'M SO SO SORRY!!!
I'm trying, I promise. I hope to get this book done soon though. I mean, we're already almost halfway through Eclipse.
I'm gonna try and write my ass off this week while I'm home for Thanksgiving. (Prob not the best idea because I should be studying for finals but oh whale...)
