Oh Anna//H.S(Book 1)

Part 11: Faith

A/N: this chapter is long, brace yourself.

After the shoot I get in my car and cry. I don't even leave. I just cry. Not too hard though. I just sit and play music. Then it came on. Death Bed by Powfu. The one I played in the car with Harry. I say with my face in my hands lightly singing thinking of that night, that night he kissed me for the first time, and when he held my hand in his car, while this song played.
"I don't want to fall asleep I don't want to pass away." I sing lightly. More tears fall. I bring my knees up and sit holding them.
"I've been thinking of our future because I'll never see those days"  I miss it. The feeling I had that day. The feeling of his fingers rubbing against mine in the car while the songs played.
"I don't know why this is happening but I probably deserve it, I try to do my best but you know that I'm not perfect." I keep singing softly "I've been praying for forgiveness you've been praying for my health, when I leave this earth hoping you'll find someone else, cause ya we still young there's so much we haven't done getting married start a family watch you husband with his son."  This song makes me cry. It used to be because of the lyrics, now it's just Harry.
"I wish it could be me but I won't make it off this bed, I hope I go to heaven so I see you once again, my life was kinda short but I got so many blessings, I'm happy you were mine it sucks that it's all ending." I look up at the ceiling and sing the chorus, loud.
"Don't stay awake for too long don't go to bed, I'll make a cup of coffee for your head, I'll get you up and going out of bed." I get a phone call. It's Harry. I pause the music and wipe my eyes, and clear my throat, trying to make it seem like I wasn't crying.
"Hey...whats up?" I say.
"Anna..." his voice is soft and caring.
"Hmh."
"You don't have to stop crying...I'm not gonna judge you..."
I'm confused at first. I whip my head to the side looking out my car window. He is standing about 10 feet away leaning against a tree, a caring smile on his face. I sigh. And unlock the car. He hangs up and walks around and gets in.
"Hey." I say.
"You ok?"
"Want me to take you home or something." I keep my eyes on the road.
"Ya. We can talk too." I start driving and play the song making sure it's quieter this time.
"Talk about what."
"Everything." I sigh.
"Or not...you know what I have a better idea, can you pull over so I can drive?"
"What is your better idea."
"It's a surprise." I smile. And pull over, both of us getting out and switching sides. We gets in.
"Can I?" He asks pointing to my phone.
"Ya sure it's 0327" I say. He puts it in and plays a song on one of my playlists. I love this song.
"What is this?"
He sings.
"Well I guess it would be nice! If I could touch your body, I know not everybody, has got a body like you!" He sings.
It's Faith by George Michael. I can't help but smile as he drives. He takes my hand and keeps singing.
"But I gotta think twice, before I give my heart away, and I know all the games you play, because I play them too!" He sings. I laugh at the goofy faces he so making. I start singing with him.
"Oh but I need some time off, from the emotion, some time to pick my heart up off the floor!! Oh when that love comes down without devotion, we'll it takes a strong man Baby but I'm showing you the door!" We sing together as he drives, his thumb rubs across my knuckles. As we drive. "Cause I gotta have Faith!" I sing alone and he smiles.
"Where are we going."
"I told you it's a surprise."
"Harry Styles where are we going!!"
"Do you have your swim suit or shall we stop by your house."
"I....it's in my trunk..."
"Great." He keeps driving and singing. We pull up to the beach and I freeze. The same spot. But it was a picnic.
"How'd you do this..." I whisper.
"Mitch. Did it...uh...I...sh*t want me to bring you home..." he says.
I don't say anything. I get out and walk down. It's a blanket and a picnic basket. I look up at him, he is still in the parking lot, the car door open, looking down at me. I open the basket. It's all food from Beachwood. I fall to my knees. Holding it in my hands. I hear the car door shut and Harry running to me. He falls to his knee his arm wrapping around my shoulders.
"It's.....it's from Beachwood..."
I give a soft smile reliving the memory. He moved his hand to my back, rubbing it.
"You ok Anna?" I smile and nod. I look up at him.
I take the pillow from behind me and throw it at him. He laughs.
"What was that..." he slows down, his phone binged. He looks at it makes a face and looks around the beach.
"What?" I say.
"Nothing uh hang on."
He calls someone and we hear a ring from a bush about 5 feet away. Then followed by a
"Sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t"
"Mitch your such an a*shole." Harry says laughing. He fell back leaning on his elbows and I still sit on my knees. I play with the sand in my fingers.
"Ya ya. That's coming from you." He sits next to me.
"I'm Mitch Rowland, Harry's personal Guitarist." He says holding a hand out for me, I shake it.
"Oh my god Mitch I know how to play guitar I could be fine with out you."
"Ya ya ok."
They talk to each other like brothers. It's cute.
"I'm Anna."
"I know. Did Harry sing you the song he wr..." Harry covers his mouth saying "shh shh shh."
Loudly so I can't hear the rest of his sentence. I smile and look down.
"It's...it's not done." He says.
"I don't want your sympathy but you don't know..." Harry covers mitches mouth again as he sings.
I laugh. Taking a bite of my sandwich.
"I'm gonna go change." I say walking away. I grab my suit and walk into the bathroom, change, and walk back out. Mitch and Harry are talking. I sit and take another bite.
"Anyway. I'll leave, feel free to make out on the beach as long as you want." Mitch says. My cheeks turn red
"F*ck you Mitch." Harry says as he walks away.
"Sorry abou..." he stops and looks at his phone, then holds up his middle finger to Mitch in his car." I laugh.
"Why I was going to say, was sorry about Mitch, he is kinda a handful." He says and I laugh.
"He is fun." I say.
His smile fades quickly.
"Anna...I want to talk...about everything... because you and I both know it's a mess, it's been a mess." I sigh.
"I know I know...but can't it just wait."
"Till what?"
"Till after we go swimming."
He smiles and we get up and run to the water, I run in deeper and dive into the waves, Harry follows me. We sit in the salty water laughing.
"Harry what would I do without you." I say.
He thinks.
"You would have to find another beautiful man to photograph." He says with laughter in his voice.
"Not possible." I say dunking under and coming back up. I decide it's time to go back up to shore and start swimming back.
"Wait!" Harry grabs my arm and I turn around.
"Ya."
He stands and lifts me over his shoulder. I fight It for a second then leave it alone. He throws me back in. I come above water.
"Your turn!" I say pushing him in. I comes up and shakes his head getting most of the water out of his hair. I run my fingers through it. We get out of the water and sit on the sand. I lay looking up at the stars and he lays on his stomach resting his head on his hand.
He smiles.
"What? You know you should really look at the stars there very pretty tonight." I say.
"Why would I look at them when I can look at you ba..." he stops. I smile. "....Anna. " he continues, very embarrassed.
"Well...for one, there very pretty, like I said, and for two, you can call them Baby without getting embarrassed by it, although you could do that with me but you choose not to."
"Oh I can call the stars baby and it won't be weird yup makes total sense."
"Ya I know right?"
"Well I don't think I like Baby....I think you should be something like.....Cherry. Ya that's it. Cherry." He says.
"Cherry? Where'd that come from?"
"Well Chèrie means Darling in French, and that sounds like Cherry. You should really study more Love." He says.
I roll over so I'm facing him.
"Well then you Can be Baby and I'll be Cherry."
"I like that."
"I know."
"Oh you know?"
"You'll like Anything I call you, I could call you a fish and you would love it."
"Me? A fish? Mm. No. Your a fish."
"What makes me a fish?!"
"Ok...maybe your a special fish, a fish that can outgrow it's habitat, like you out grow your dreams."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Like.." he laughs.
"Like I'm assuming you wanted to be a photographer for a while before you got the job right? It was your dream, correct." I nod.
"Well now that you have done that you have a new dream, which is...."
"Doing photography for a big company."
He smiles and looks at me.
"What."
"Well it was supposed to be a surprise, but you know the pictures we took today."
I nod.
"I talked to Danny, and were using those for Rolling Stones Magazine."
"Your joking."
He smiles. And shakes his head. I fall on my back.
"Harry....your literally my new favorite person."
"Because I make your dreams come true?" He jokes.
"Well I guess, but also..." I stop, smile and look down.
"Other reasons." I whisper. He smiles.
"Well your my favorite person Cherry." He says rolling over on his back.
I like that. I really really really like that.
It makes me smile. He noticed.
"What?" He says.
"I like it."
"Like what?"
"Cherry."
"I know." He takes a hold of me and pulls me on top of him into a hug. He rubs my back with one hand and the other rests on my head.
"Baby.."
"Cherry..."
"This is one of the other reasons your my favorite person." He kisses my head.
"Hey Cherry."
"Hey Baby."
"Your beautiful, you know that." I smile and sit up.
He looks confused. I open the picnic basket and grab a spoon for a microphone.
"You don't know you beautiful! Oh oh! That's what makes you beautiful!" I sing.  He laughs.
"Oh no no no, you need to sing it right." He opens his phone and plays it taking the spoon from my hands standing up.
"Your insecure! Don't know what for!" He points to me. I grab a fork from the basket and start singing.
"Your turning heads when you walk through the door! Don't need makeup, to cover up, being the way that you are is enough!" He laughs as I go solo.
"Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you!" He laughs even harder. "Baby you light up my world like nobody else!" I point to him. "The way that you flip you hair gets me overwhelmed!" I flip my hair to prove my point. "But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell, you don't know! Oh oh! You don't know your beautiful!" He runs up to me takes the fork and throws it behind him.
"Hey!" I start to say but he grabs my hips and pulls me into a kiss.
"Just because you kissed me doesn't mean Im not mad because you took my microphone anymore." I say. He laughs. And kisses me again. I kiss him back.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a song to sing" I say grabbing my micro phone that is now on the ground and start singing again.
"To prove I'm right I put it in a song! I don't know why, your being shy, and turn away when I look into you eye-eye-eyes!  Everyone else in the room can see it! Everyone else but you, ooh!" I throw him a spork. "Baby you light up my world like nobody else! The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed! But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell you don't know! Oh oh! You don't know your beautiful oh oh! That's what makes you beautiful!" We sing together, his voice is angelic, I almost can't tell the difference between him and God at this point. I laugh and fall onto the blanket. Laughing. He smiles as the song ends.
"I'm definitely not getting a record deal anytime soon."
"No...no you Arnt." He says falling on his back next to me.
"Hey! It's ok when I say it but not when you agree with me!"  I say. He laughs. I lay my head on his chest, he is wearing a blue button up, that's open all the way, and a pair of jeans, I'm wearing, the jeans he bought me, and an old band Tshirt.
"Harry Styles."
"Annalise Walker."
"That's another reason your my favorite person." He runs his hand through my hair.
"What's your favorite song now Cherry."
"I can't decide between Faith, and What makes you beautiful." I say.
"I think your my favorite song Cherry."
"I think your my favorite Everything Baby." I say repeating his words. He sits up causing me to fall off of him.
"Hey!"
"Well I'm sorry but I can't resist right now." He says pulling me into his lap kissing me.
"It's ok, I think I like this better anyway." I say. He falls back down leaving me on top of him. He moved his hands. Places his hands have never explored before. His hands slide down my thighs. Holding my lower inner thighs. My hands are in his hair as he kisses me.
"Harry....Baby..." I say as he kisses me.
"Yes Cherry." I sit back a minute still on him.
"I don't want this to be like last time."
"Oh..." he moves his hands off of me.
"No! That's...that's not what I meant." I move his hands back to their original placing.
"I meant like....never mind, I...I guess it can wait to talk about." I say leaning back in to kiss him. He stops me.
"Come on Cherry, lets go to my house." I nod. And get up. He take everything and go to my car. We throw everything in the trunk and I get in the passenger. He takes my hand. I play Faith again.
"Why this song?"
I shrug my shoulders. Even though I do know.
Because I'm scared the same thing is going to happen again this time as last time, I'm scared that he is going to tell me it shouldn't happen again. And I'm scared he is gonna cancel on me again, and I don't want to put on a song like death bed, a song that is easier to cry to. I want the minimal memories with Harry to be happy, so I don't cry as hard later.
He takes my hand, and kisses it. Then rubs his thumb over my knuckles.
"Talk to me cherry." He says.
"I don't...it doesn't really matter anymore." He stops.
"Cherry did I hurt you?"
Yes.
"No."
He sighs.
"What did I do."
Where do I begin.
"Nothing."
"Baby, I can't fix it til you tell me."
"I thought we agreed I was Cherry you were Baby."
"Stop changing the subject, what did I do."
"Nothing...it doesn't matter anymore."
"Cherry...it always matters if it hurt you, you have feelings, tell me, is it the same reason you where crying in the car this afternoon."
"Harry..."
"Cherry, talk to me please." His hand hasn't left mine.
"I just don't understand, and there isn't anything you can do to help me understand."
"What don't you understand."
"Baby if I tell you, you won't want to explain it, I know you."
"Ok well then prove me wrong. Tell me."
I sigh. I had no intentions of telling him this ever. But here I am, doing it.
"I just don't understand how one second you tell me I'm amazing, and all these amazing compliments, and then you tell me you can't be with me."
"I knew you would ask me."
I look up at him.
"It's really really complicated to put into words how I feel about you Cherry, your beautiful, Kind, Smarter than you even know.." I cut him off.
"Then why can't we be together."
" because Anna I'm scared."
"I....what?"
"I'm scared you'll hurt me, and I know you won't but every girl I have ever met has been a quarter of what you are and they tore me to pieces, Anna, and I guess my brain keeps telling me that the better they are the worse they are or something and I just...." he stops. Biting his lip a bit. I losses it with my finger.
"Baby, I said don't do that." He takes a deep breath, it's really shaken.
"I'm not sure how much it means to you for me to say this because I know everybody probably says it but I won't hurt you baby, I like you, like a lot, like a lot a lot. And I would never purposely hurt you."
"No...no stop this isn't about me. It's about you cherry, only you."
"I have nothing to say, like you said it's ok to talk about your feelings." He looks up at me and smiles.
"Plus, I don't like things being about me, why do you think I stay on the opposite side of the camera."
"Your Beautiful Cherry."
"Your Beautiful, Baby."
He runs his finger across my knuckles before we pull up to his house.
A/N:
Songs: Faith,-George Michael. What Makes you Beautiful-One Direction. Death Bed-Powfu
I love this chapter. Like a lot.