Impossible (Working Title)

Chapter 5 - Do I have It In Me?

That night I slept peacefully after ages. I don't know why. It should have been the other way round. That night my dreams, my career, my passion, they all came crashing down. I was rejected. I had been singing since the time I could remember. Music had been my life. Last ten years, I had thought of nothing else but music. After spending all these years dedicated to music, I was told I was not good enough. Despite having already released two successful albums, I was not good enough. And that because of some analytical tool that predicted what the fans wanted to hear.

If at  all it was possible to make such kind of predictions!

And yet, I had been told that the time was not right and that I would have to wait for my next album to be released.

In other words, I was fucked up.

Totally, utterly, fucked up, in the most royal kind of a way.

And somehow that was still not the most devastating piece of information thrown at me that night. The idea of being a social influencer, for Suarez Riccardo, was the most shitty thing I had ever heard in my life. I would have laughed at it and at them had I not been burning up from the head to my toes when it was proposed.

Who ever comes up with these brainless duds?

But however painful or absurd those suggestions had been, fortunately or unfortunately, I slept like a dream that night.

I guess being freed of months of anxiety and ambiguity mattered a lot. And though it was not what I was hoping or even anticipating, it gave me full clarity of where I stood. And where Mr Lymen and Riccardo stood as well.

When Tracey called next morning I was almost cheerful; definitely in a better frame of mind to acknowledge and analyse the proposal. I spent the full week thinking about the same.  Tracey helped my clarify lots of my doubts. She had friends almost every where. Though it was a very personal decision, and truth be told, it was taken that night itself, yet I took my time because I didn't want to do anything hot-headed.

When Riccardo came back a week later, I told him that I had accepted his proposal. May be he was not expecting the same, for he was visibly surprised.

What did you think, dude? I would act petty and throw away last five years of my life just because I am not able to make you see my way?

I may be a lot of things but I was no longer stupid. I knew Riccardo expected me to fight my way through with my usual tantrums and out bursts. Well, that's where I had proved him wrong. I had decided I would fight my way indeed, but I would do it their way.

Finally overcoming his surprise, when Riccardo had taken my hand and pulled me in for a kiss on my cheeks, I had let him to do so, smilingly. "Milan was no longer what I knew, for I could  only think of what it would be to watch it along with you," he had whispered in my ears.

"In your fucking dreams!"  I had wanted to scream at his treacherous face. But I had only smiled further and said, "That would be one fucking trip."

And that's how it had all began, my transition from my a singer to a social media influencer. 

I need not call myself a social media influencer for I was already a celebrity and I had lot of fan following on the social media but the fact remains same. When you have no other full time profession to keep you occupied, other that being online and posting some direct, some random statements for the whole day, that's what is going to be your identity. Not to forget the numerous times I would directly or indirectly encourage and influence my followers to a particular product or brand, that made the title just apt for me.