The Endless Torment of an Admin (MCSM Fanfiction)

Chapter 5 - A Turn for the Worst

Despite the fact that she wasn't even close to getting back the rest she needed, Petra didn't sleep a wink that night. Eyes wide open, she took turns between tossing from one side of the bed to the other, to staring up at her bedroom ceiling as if she was looking for answers between the cracks in the wood.

All she could think about was Jesse, and the state their friend had been in. Where had she gone that day, and what happened to her? Why did she look like somebody who had been to hell and back that day?

Petra turned her head to the side on her pillow, gazing out of the window. She usually kept her curtains drawn while she slept, but she had accepted that sleep wasn't coming that night and pulled them open to give herself something to look at.

It was still dark outside, but the sun had begun peeking it's head over the horizon. She guessed it was about 5 am.

Rolling over onto her side, Petra wrapped her arms around herself beneath the covers. She wanted to talk to Jesse, she wanted Jesse to talk to her. But the shorter girl's door had been locked tight all night.

Petra didn't like admitting it, but she was afraid. Not of Jesse, Jesse's new powers didn't frighten her like it did the others.

She was scared that what Olivia said was true. What if Jesse really had died in the terminal zone that day? What if their friend truly was gone, a monster left in her place?

No.

Petra shook her head to herself, grinding her teeth. The person she embraced after the battles was Jesse! The person she talked to the previous night was Jesse! The person they saw that afternoon was Jesse...

She was still Jesse, and they had to help her. Jesse didn't choose to be turned into an Admin! All she wanted was to save everybody, her people, her friends. The world.

She was a hero, and didn't deserve to pay for that.

Jesse wasn't dealing any better with her emotions that morning. Much like the previous night, no sleep or even a smidge of exhaustion came. She was left between the four walls of her bedroom with just her emotions to keep her company.

What happened with friends the previous day haunted Jesse. She never intended to use her powers against them!

It was hard to describe what she had been feeling. Trapped, cornered, surrounded. Even though they were there to help her, it had felt like they were predators closing in on their prey. And when she raised her hands, the shove came without her doing as much as thinking about it.

Sighing, Jesse leaned her head down onto her knees. She was sitting on the ground, her back rested against the cold bedroom wall. Sweat soaked the clothes she's been wearing since the previous morning, beads collecting on her pale pink skin. Both physically and mentally, she was an absolute mess.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Jesse pushed herself to her feet. She had to at least try. It wasn't her friends' responsibility to dig her out of this hole.

It took every last bit of willpower Jesse had to stay on her feet instead of sinking back into a miserable heap. She looked down at the clothes she wore, fabric drenched in sweat and smelling of smoke.

I guess I can start there.

Her feet dragged across the wooden floor as she trudged up to her closet, pulling open the door. Jesse's eyes lifelessly moved over the heaps of unsorted clothing, not really having a preference for anything. Finally she reached in, pulling out an old pair of denim overalls and a soft, breathable yellow t-shirt to go with it.

While the change of clothes made Jesse feel a little better, her chest still ached with the strain of holding back the storm of emotions within her. The glow had not faded from her eyes.