The Deadly Exhaustion
These white walls are trapping me;
These people are stifling me.
My weak, ice cold blood runs through my veins.
I cannot stand up to my opposers;
I cannot stand up to anything.
I cry out in my sleep;
My dreams continue to haunt me.
The dead must be alive;
They follow me wherever I go.
I would almost feel more relieved if my dreams came true.
I awaken in the middle of the night,
Fear racing through me.
The all seeing blackness;
All the horrified screams;
His taunting voice;
Their faces full of pity;
All of them terrify me.
I cannot take this anymore;
I am tired of my insomnia.
I am tired of feeling sick;
Tired of feeling scared;
Tired of feeling exhausted.
I will not be able to survive much longer;
Not if my dreams still haunt me like this.
It is a necessity to put make-up on my face:
My eyes are round and scared, always.
I flinch away from people;
Long shadows fight to control my face;
There are dark pools of black underneath my eyes.
Old, dried tears must be washed away each morning.
I fight to last throughout the day;
The exhaustion trails behind me like my own shadow.
I have to sleep when I get home;
It is darkness,
With no dreams interrupting.
This is the only peaceful rest I get;
It still is not enough.
Sometimes, I grow dizzy:
Large pools of black cover my entire eye;
My knees buckle;
I clutch at the nearest wall.
The dizziness soon passes.
My dizzy spells terrify me.
What if I have one in public, again?
They are always worse there.
I need to let go of my exhaustion, my dreams.
This is slowly killing me.
