Dumb Stories that TURTLE

Turtle or something

I DIDN'T ACTUALLY MEAN NAME IT TURTLE!! Oh well. Welcome to dumb stories that burrito.

The Turtle (or something)

Once upon a time there was a turtle. Nothing very important, just a plain turtle. Just minding its own business..

Kid 1: HEY LOOK A TORTOISE!!

Turtle: Um actually im a turtle

Kid 1: HEY LOOK A TALKING TORTOISE!!

Turtle: IM A TURTLE YOU—

Kid 2: OHHH CAN I PET IT!??!?

Kid 1: SURE!!!!!! LETS PET THE FROG!!!

Turtle makes a disappointed face.

Turtle: My shell is poisonous

Kid 1 & Kid 2: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!??!!

Turtle (disappointed): If you touch my shell you will get AIDS.

Please note they are both little girls, with TokTik.

Kid 1 (crying): I DONT WANNA GET AIDS!!!

Kid 2 (crying as well): ME TOO!!

Kid 1 & Kid 2: MOMMY THE TALKING TORTOISE SAYS I HAVE AIDS!!

Turtle: Forget this. I'm done with this crap.

Turtle jumps off a tree and dies.

THE END

Now go breathe air or something