Quarterback's Study Buddy

Chapter Nineteen and a Half

A few months passed and that night proved to be a staple in both Carson and Noelle's lives. 

Noelle received the rude-awakening of seeing her mother--if she could even call her that anymore--in a light she's never seen her in before. The woman she always idolized as a young girl turned out to disappoint her like everyone else in her life. It wasn't fair in the slightest but, it was true. Her father eventually talked to her about the event of her mother showing up. But, he had to find a way to deal with his own emotions that always seemed to bubble up with Colleen: hurt, pain, anger, sadness, disappointment, love.

Although, Noelle's dad was married and loved his wife, a piece of him will always love Colleen. She was the first girl that he was ever in love with. And to see her steal from him the first time was hard to bare but to see her steal from their only daughter was even harder to witness. He felt like he failed at keeping that beautiful image of Colleen in Noelle's head clean and unspoiled. He had never wanted Noelle to see the hurtful person Colleen turned into when she left them. However, Colleen always had this issue with addiction even before Noelle was born. Colleen had gotten clean before her pregnancy and up until Noelle was 3, she relapsed multiple times throughout Noelle's life. This issue wasn't something that came about suddenly.

Noelle thought about the words Margo had said and as hurtful as they were, she found bits of truth in them--but, isn't that why words hurts sometimes, because it's true? She reflected and was trying to come to terms as to what she wanted and needed for herself. Which was weird because she never remembered asking herself what she wanted, ever. What she did, she did for everyone else and never for herself. She focused so much of her energy and time into everyone else's happiness except her own. And in the passed few months, Noelle cut ties with Carson Holt--she didn't want to but she knew she had to. He was a beautiful boy who was broken in more ways than she could fix. 

Carson tried to call her and text her and trap her in the halls (which only worked a handful of times before she caught on). He knew why she was cold towards him but he promised her Daisy and him weren't together and would never be. But, Noelle would only reply with, "That's great but I don't think you're what's best for me right now." She would reject him every time he tried to reconcile with her. Eventually he gave up but it didn't mean he didn't think about her all the time. He would still watch her walk into school in the mornings as he waited in his truck. He would steal glances at her in the hall way between classes. He would even stop by the library to see if she was on duty but he was disappointed to find out that she no longer worked there. 

Daisy's thin admirable figure began to swell slightly over the last few months. Daisy, in a sense, got what she wanted. Carson was practically all hers since Noelle ghosted him. He took care of her in almost every way. He drove her to all her doctor's appointments and helped buy prenatal vitamins. He even let her stay him when Daisy's parents kicked her out for being so 'reckless.' Granted, Carson had his doubts but he always promised to himself to always be a better father than his dad ever was to him, no matter what. Daisy thrived off his attention even though he no longer had sex with her or anything. He made it very clear as to what he wanted from their relationship. However, it didn't mean she didn't try to climb into his bed and cuddle into his back and whisper sweet-nothings into his ear every now again. To which, Carson got annoyed and would slept in the guest room. 

Carson was very clear as to what he wanted and his responsibilities as a father-to-be. Besides caring for his future child, he wanted to be the man--or at least half the man--Noelle wanted him to be. She saw potential in him when no one else did. He knew she would do anything for him and in return he promised to himself to do the same. Carson reflected on the people he hurt and knew the people who loved him didn't deserve it. Starting with Tyler. 

Tyler was dealing with shit of his own but always made time to save Carson whenever he needed it. Carson ended up telling Tyler that he planned to seek help for his alcoholism. Tyler was happy for him and told him he'd always support him regardless. Carson felt better about being on better terms with Tyler. Although, it wasn't quite the same, it was a start. 

Carson enrolled in an AA for teens and it wasn't really something he enjoyed but he began to appreciate it as time went on. Once he got past the weak coffee and depressing stories, he could really see himself in these people. People who were just as scrambled and self-destructive as he was. He learned that addiction isn't a one-and-done situation. It'll always be there and present especially during his darkest hours. But, he was ready to put the effort into being a better man for his child and for Noelle. That was his new-found goal.

Senior year seem to fly past them, prom and graduation were a mere weeks away. This chapter in their lives was closing faster than they expected. College was an entirely different monster to fight and it was fast approaching.  

Hey guys! 

This was kind of a little fluff chapter I guess lol I wanted write this chapter to not only give a little more depth into the characters a bit but it kind of sets up for the next chapter, which is a time skip chapter. I don't want y'all to get confused or anything.

But, I think the next chapter marks the end of this book, unfortunately. I might even do a Daisy spin-off book (Nah I'm kidding :D)

I love your comments guys! Some of you are fucking hilarious!

But, tell me what you guys think. 

Like and Comment!

~~With Love, Armani