TIP: New Moon

Alive

River waited impatiently for them. Her foot couldn't stop taping as she leaned on her car, her lower lip was bleeding from all the biting. The nervousness was getting to her.

Wait! Why was she suddenly worried. Why did she suddenly cared. After all this time trying to convince herself that they weren't worth the anxiety and stress. Now she was breaking down, insanely worried.

She couldn't help it, no matter how much she tried. After a while she saw them walking towards them. Alice walking in front and Edward who wrapped his arm around Bella and leaned on Bella.

"River, you're still here." Edward said stunned.

"I needed to make sure you were still alive." River uncrossed her arms,"but I can see now that you are, I'll be on my way." She said turning around.

"River wait." Edward says removing himself off Bella.

"We'll wait for you in the car." Alice said walking away with Bella.

Edward nodded,"are you coming back to Forks with us? There is something important I would like to talk about." Edward asked looking at Alice and Bella as they walked away.

River not looking at him,"I don't have anything to say to you." She simply answered.

"You don't have to say anything just listen. If...." Edward begged.

"Edward, I don't have time for this." River interrupted him," I'm not interested in anything you have to say. So if you'll excuse me I need to leave." Turned and walked away.

"We.. wanted to protect you and Bella." Edward said.

River in anger clutched her fist,"Stop! Don't pretend like you did this for anyone but yourself. You're so selfish Edward."

"That's not true." He argued.

"It is. You are so selfish."

"Fine, call me whatever you want but they had nothing to do with this. It was all me, I forced them. It neither of their fault."

River finally turned towards him and chuckled amused,"Edward, they're not mindless sheep. They are fully capable of making their own decisions by themselves and they choose to leave. Now live with that decision...." River said coldly,"they are no better than you."

"Please, River. Just listen to me. River, please let's go back home and talk." Edward went in to grabbed her hand.

"Don't." River held her hand up, preventing Edward from touching her,"No! You're not going to do this to me, not again, not anymore." River said coldly,"all we do is talk and I'm done." She added.

"Tell me what I have to do."

"I don't care what you do, I just don't want to be apart of this anymore."

"You know what I think?

"What?"

"I think you're lying."

"Edward, please enlighten me. Why do you thinking I'm lying?" River said sarcastically

""Than why did you come?" Edward asked,"why did you risk your own life to save mine. It because you care." He said coming close to her,"you can't help it. It's who you are. No matter how high or thick your walls are. I can see right through you. No one knows you like I do."

River laughed,"oh Edward, you don't know the half of it. The reason I came here is because...I wanted to see something."

"What?" Edward asked stunned and confused.

"How I would feel if I saw you again. If I looked into your eyes." River said finally looking into his eyes.

"What do you feel?" Edward said hopefully.

River stared at him, she opened and closed her mouth,"nothing." She finally said,"I was afraid if I looked into your eyes I would feel the pain but nothing. I don't feel anything, not range, not sadness." 'Just a void, a cold shallow whole in my soul, mind and heart.' She thought but she wouldn't dream of telling Edward or anyone.

"Don't say that. Don't say things like that." Edward ordered,"if it were true than you wouldn't still be wearing that ring around your neck." He said looking at River's chest. The finite ring rested on River's chest and hung in a loose silver chain around her neck. The same ring Edward gave her on her birthday to signify their never ending love.

River followed his eyes to the ring she never takes off. It's been around her necklace ever since he gave it to her,"truthfully I didn't realise I was still wearing it." River traced the ring,"you know I hoped that one day you'll realise you made a mistake by choosing Bella and come back to me." She smiling at the ring and it's memories,"but I now I hope that day never come."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm so tired of being angry, sad all the time. I'm tired Edward, I don't want to this anymore." River pleaded.

"So...you're saying if I pledge my love for you now, said I made a mistake by choosing Bella and said you were the one for me. You wouldn't take me back."

River chuckled,"yes, that's what I'm saying."

"It doesn't mean I love you any less than I ever loved you."  Edward said. If not more. He thought.

"I know... but...." River glanced at Edward before glancing at Bella,"you should stop, though."

"What?" Edward stared at her longingly.

"Loving me." She went back to looking at him.

"Why?"

"Whatever little love you have left for me. I want you to destroy it. You should stop cause you'll only cause more pain then intended." River said swallowing hard,"I don't wish that kinder of pain I went through a couple of months ago on anyone, specially you and Bella." River said before she took one step and uncrossed her arms,"you need to let me go, so I can I let you go."

"I can't do that River. Those kinds of feelings don't just leave. I can't. I'll do anything you ask but don't ask that from me. Cause I won't be able to." He shook his head as he stared down to his feet.

She gently, tenderly placed her hand on his cheek lifting his face so he would look at her,"Than you're killing us both."

Edward hissed and held his breath at the warmth of River's hand. The comfort was overwhelming. He placed his hand over hers to make sure it never left his cheek. He slowly breathe out as he opened his eyes to stare at the dark blue eyes of a woman he loved with all of his being.

River took his hand, her other hand went to her necklace and pulled it off and placed it in Edward's hand and closed it,"bye, Edward." She said as pulled back and stepped away. River looked into his sad, desperate eyes before she opened her car door and slide in. River drove and she never looked back.

Edward watched as River's car drove away from him and set on the dark horizon. He sighed knowing he had his chance and he played with it. Now he may never get another

He opened his hand and glanced at the infinity necklace. If he could cry now he would but his frozen heart broke at this overwhelming feeling of sad.

"Is this how River when he broke her heart and betrayed her?" Edward thought.