Dear my younger self

Dear my 7 years old self

Hi there. How are you? Are you doing fine? Are you looking at me as how do you want me to be? I guess not. Surely not. And i am sorry for that. For being a useless person. For not turn out to be as the person that you hoping for. For being the current me. I am sorry. I am sorry that all of your imagination about me was not happen. I am sorry that I was not you anymore. The ambitious one. The artistic and futuristic person. But you know what? I am still alive and you wouldn't believe me if i said that i almost died for few times. Apart from that i almost kill people. But don't worry cause none of them ever happen, yet. At least.

So um, back to my question. How are you? I hope you're doing fine and still happy as you are. And i would be happy for you. I miss when we are talking at the late night about things in the future. About what you want to pursue in the future. About how you find going to school is exciting. About your hobbies and stuffs. I miss the moment when we started to read a book and being drown to it. When we want to go out but we can't cuz we are broke. When we love people and hate people for silly reasons.

But my dear. It's different now. I don't find anything exciting anymore. I don't read anymore. I don't wanna go out but i have to for the sake of money and pay my debt. I don't feels the love or hating anybody cuz i'm numb. And i just breathing as i could but i don't feel alive. But i guess that's life. I can't complain as i am nobody and nobody cares isn't it. So that's it. That's a little current things about me. Um i wish i can hear something from you. As you're so far to reach. And almost can't be seen. But i hope you're still there, watching after me, laughing at my dumbness and cry for my ill fortune. And also, im looking forward to see you soon. Till next time!

Sincerely, your 23 years old.