Three Words

Prologue

There are moments you cherish and there are moments you take for granted. For Kyla May, it has always been the latter. Now the saying "you don't know what you have until you lose it" hits differently when she hears it. Either way, it didn't matter anymore. None of it did, or maybe it just never did.

May couldn't remember the last time she had laughed or even smiled. Not one measly smile. How pathetic her life had become. It's one, simple, physical action literally anyone could perform.

Lift the corners of your mouth, May. It's not that hard. 

May snorted then. It took only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Guess her face has been working out these past few months.

But May's mother did always say to never overwork yourself. One should be able to work and be able to have fun. 

Fun? The irony, momma. If you could just see me right now, she thought to herself, sighing.

Do you mean the fun she's had by distancing herself from the only friends she had? Or the backstabbing bitch/ex-best friend who ditched her for popularity only two weeks after the death of Kyla May's mother?

Yeah, she's been having so much fun three months after the accident. 

May took sleeping pills so she could rest until after the sun rises, like a normal teenager. It had become her regular routine after her mother's death. School, work, eat, meds, then sleep. But it was never this way. She once used to be the person who was an anticipating rollercoaster. Lively in every way and always the jokester. Now it was nothing but darkness that hid the light. 

Kyla May was tired of living this way. Tired of thinking that she was hopeless. Incapable of functioning like a normal human being. She wants to change but doesn't know how to. If her mother isn't here, who does May go to when she needs help? Who does she tell her deepest, darkest secrets to? Who will be her best friend, now?

She takes a breath and closes her eyes, revisiting the last time she saw and heard her mother.

"Make me proud," her mother had said right before her eyes closed on the hospital bed. Brown, beautiful eyes May inherited from her mother. 

Eyes I'll never see again, she thought silently. 

Today marked three months of the car accident and the day May lost the only thing that mattered to her.

Ever since she recovered from the hospital, May has been living with her father, who has been driving her completely crazy. Always hovering over her, never giving any privacy, babying his only daughter. Her mom let her have space and the freedom of making personal choices. Now she regrets that her mother always gave her privacy. May regrets the moments she chose to lock herself in her room chatting with her friends, going boy crazy, and trying new DIYs. None of that was ever important or even mattered. 

"I'm so sorry, Momma," she whispered to the moon shining outside her bedroom window. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to keep her sobs at bay, but it never worked. After the first sob escaped, the others came flying out. One tear became into two, and two became into many clashing together.

She cried and cried until she could cry no more. Snot was running down her nose, her face was wet, and it seemed like she hadn't showered in days. 

Ugh. She promised herself would stop crying. 

Stupid promises. Hell, she couldn't keep the most important one she made. There was no way could keep this one. 

If she could just end it, everything would be fine. Unexist in a way that does not make her hurt every day. There are days, like today, where she wishes to not feel and numb out the sadness that digs a hole deeper for her daily. Punching a wall certainly did not help in that aspect, but the pain she felt on her knuckles still managed to override the pain she felt inside. For a split second, May was even happy that she managed to hurt in another way because seeing pain outside is something that can be fixed. The pain inside is something no one can see. There are not any bandages or surgeries to block out the voices and memories in Kyla May's head. So yes, right now, punching a wall again would feel like bliss. 

But, then again, to feel nothing would be absolute bliss.

May hopped onto her bed after washing her face of the snot and made sure to lock her bedroom door so her father couldn't open it. She always hated it when her father checked up on her while she was sleeping. She was 14 for goodness sake! Her own mother stopped check up on her when she was six years old. 

Slipping under the covers, she sighed. May clicked on the lamp beside her bed and pulled out a book that was hidden underneath her pillow. 

Page 126, Kyla May remembered and turned to the designated spot her bookmark left. She hadn't been able to stop reading since the accident. Reading, drawing, school, walking, and even working out. Anything to keep her mind occupied and distracted. 

Anything to stop the nightmares and screams haunting her every. Single. Night.

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Soooooo...? What'd ya'll think of this one? Time to embark on a new journey it seems, so leave a comment down below and vote if you want more! And trust me, it is not that boring as this first part may seem (hopefully). Dude of interest will most likely come in chapter 3 or 4.

xoxo,

tbn