He Bleeds Flame ✔️

16. more

s i x t e e n
"Nunc scio quid sit Amor." - Virgil

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It was on a Sunday afternoon, a day William Brown would generally tend to spend alone in his room, that he realized there must be something wrong with him. The first reason-an obvious tell on why there was in fact something wrong with him-being that he was studying for an exam.

Two days before he would actually take it.

He did the studying alone, which was strange all on it own. Before Lucien, William had always studied with Henry, Ashton, and Elijah.

Lucien.

Well, that was the second reason. He didn't know why exactly, but he could not, under any circumstances, get him off of his mind. He'd always find himself thinking of Lucien before today, though not every waking second of the day.

Again, William blamed it on his head.

When he woke up, his thoughts immediately scattered to the blond, honey eyed boy. William had laid there, motionless in his bed, thinking about Lucien.

He wondered what the sudden change was. Was it the fact that they hadn't necessarily left on good terms yesterday after the encounter with his father? Could it be that William felt sorry for him?

Yes, that must be it. There was no other way. He had never truly fallen for someone, and he would never give himself the chance to. He knew what came with falling.

Heartbreak.

Such a simple way to put it, he thought as he flicked his pen back and forth mindlessly. A heart breaking: heartbreak.

It seemed simple enough, but William knew no words could truly encapsulate the feelings. It varied, he knew. There was the immediate pain, as if your heart were being torn into two. Things seem as if they will never return back to normal. It's the type of pain that's immediate and scorching.

And then, of course, there was the numb type of heartbreak. In which the pain slowly keeps intensifying. He knew it all too well. It felt like a bleeding heart, never ending emptiness-a gaping hole.

William didn't want to experience that. He didn't want to become attached only to lose something that would bring happiness to his days. Being with Lucien, he knew, would feel like that-happiness.

And he didn't think he would be able to handle that joy being torn away, not after Mary, not after her being torn away.

William hoped she was okay. He hoped she would wake up and send him one of her letters he had grown used to loving. He also knew it wasn't very likely she'd be waking from the coma anytime soon.

He tried to focus on the textbook in front of him, the words scrambled onto the heavy pages. Alas, his mind had a mind of its own and could not focus any longer.

After packing his things into his bag, William slung his bag over his shoulder and left the empty corridor he'd been studying in. He rounded the corner and made his way through the corridors.

Nearly two minutes later, William made it to the staircase leading to the dorm rooms. He made his way up, shoes quietly tapping as he passed a group of students that rushed down the stairs. He paused at the top step, eyeing the hallway.