The Warriors of the Walls

The Burden the Few Must Bear

AURORA

The repugnant smell of canal water and vomit attacked my nose as Armin threw up the entirety of his stomach contents causing my brow to furrow in concern as I soothed his back with Mikasa standing watch, her face appearing impassive but her eyes telling a different tale.

Armin will never be the same again.

My whole life I had been taught that violence was the answer, that death was a necessary evil if it meant my survival. It was a lesson ingrained so deeply that even though I felt the horror of my actions when I had taken another's life, I could bear the burden of it and function more or less like a human. It was a lesson Mikasa had too learned at a young age when her parents had been killed, she understood that surviving was often clawing your way over the top of others in this corrupt and crushing world, Armin, however, was another story entirely.

No stranger to violence, he had endured beating after beating at bullies' hands when he was younger, never once fighting back. Maybe it was because he couldn't, he was after all timid by nature, but that didn't make him weak as many people believed. If Armin had been truly weak, he wouldn't have survived Shiganshina, nor would he have survived losing his Grandfather, or the punishing winter that followed and he certainly wouldn't have made it through Military training or everything thrown at him afterwards. 

Armin Arlert, despite what he believed, is one of the strongest people I know, not because he could physically defend himself but because despite not being able to fight as others could, he always managed to survive with his compassion for humanity intact. A deep-seated, selfless compassion that I feared had been corrupted after the events of today because watching him now as he spewed his guts into the canal water, I knew that the last of his innocence had died along with the woman he had killed. 

War is the death of innocence Rian had once said, and he was right, it's the death of everything.

"Was it like this for you?" Armin panted suddenly, shocking me at the strangely personally question and peering over his shoulder, his pale face flushed slightly in shame as he took in my slacked jaw expression, "I'm sorry."

Was it like this for me? .... no.... when I had killed for the first time... I had felt... strong...

"It's okay." I reassured him as I reached forward and brushed his hair back from his clammy forehead before answering his question honestly, "To your question, yes and no. I remember being afraid of how it easy it was to just... kill... of how strong I felt because of it."

Or how good it felt to finally be the one to win...but best not to mention that now.

"I'm sorry." Armin sniffed again before wiping the back of his hand over his mouth and allowing me to guide him away from the canal and into the warehouse where another issue had arisen in our absence.

Great.

"Move." Levi ordered a terrified looking Jean who standing between him and the piece of shit that learned the hard way that every action has consequences, said consequences being the word 'Rapist' carved into his forehead for the world to see and evidently my lover who making the sack of shit piss his pants all over again with just the look in his eyes alone, had figured out exactly why I had done that to him.

We don't have time for this...

Sighing deeply, I left Armin and Mikasa where they stood and crossed over to Jean before ushering the boy out of the way and taking his place in Levi's path, not because I gave a rats ass about the quivering mess of a man behind me but because I had done what I did to him for a reason, and Levi killing him would mess with my work, that and most importantly we all had work to do.