Haikyuu Iwaoi Hanahaki Disease: Too late or too soon

Part 8 (Sorrow)

Oikawa threw himself on his bed. It had only been a week, since Iwaizumi had come back, but Oikawa had still missed his friend so badly. He had never really thought about, just how much Iwaizumi had meant to him. Of course, he knew, he liked his friend. But he had never thought about the pain, he was in at the moment. He felt like, someone had snapped away apart of his soul. He had never walked home alone from school ever, and from one day to another he did it every day. Not only that, but Oikawa had also isolated himself. He hadn’t done it on purpose, but all that had happened, had driven himself to do it. He used to be with Iwaizumi at school all the time, except for their classes since Oikawa was one class above. But other than that, they were always together. And now they weren’t. The other third years had kept him company, as well as some of his other classmates. But it didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t right.

His mood had also changed dramatically, even in that week that had gone, no one had really seen him happy. He would always walk with his head low and his hands in his pockets. When he was talked to, he would answer in as short answers as possible. His teachers even noticed, since Oikawa used to be very talkative in class, asking questions and answering the ones the teacher asked, but now he didn’t. When he got an answer specifically to him from the teacher, he would answer in a low voice and never really put extra effort into it, like he used to. Everyone was cornered for him, but they all knew, why he was sad, and they didn’t dare to do anything. Of course, he would be sad, he lost his best friend.

All of this was of course sad, but the thing Oikawa hated the most was talking to Iwaizumi. Because it didn’t feel like, he was talking to Iwaizumi. He felt like, he was talking to a stranger. In the beginning, it felt weird because of the weird tention between them, but later it was just because, Oikawa didn’t like the way, they talked to each other. It wasn’t in a bad tone or anything. It was just different.

The two used to have nicknames for each other. Oikawa called Iwaizumi for ‘Iwa-chan’ and had done it as long, as he could remember. Iwaizumi didn’t always use nicknames, but he often did, and it would be something like ‘Trashkawa’ or ‘Uglykawa’. It wasn’t pretty nicknames, but it was their thing. Oikawa didn’t mind, he actually missed having an angry Iwa-chan yell at him. It was weird, when suddenly Iwaizumi called him Oikawa-san, since he hadn’t done that, as long as Oikawa could remember.

Iwaizumi had needed help with the net and wanted to ask Oikawa for help. He had walk up to him normally and said “Oikawa-san.” He didn't see anything wrong with it, he was using honorific and all, so he didn't understand the surprised exclaim from the setter, that he received. What he didn't know, was that it was the honorifics and all, that had coursed the exclaim.

“Oikawa-san?” Had Oikawa exclaimed in confusion. He hadn't heard those words from his friend’s mouth for so long. And for a second, he had forgotten, what state Iwaizumi was in. So, it had totally caught him off guard. It was only, when he remembered, all that had happened. That he answered, “Yes. Iwaizumi-san.” It was only two words, that had come out of his mouth. But those two words hurt him deeply.

One thing was, that Iwaizumi called Oikawa differently. Sure, it hurt him, but Oikawa calling Iwaizumi differently hurt him more, because it was, like Oikawa had given up. He had accepted the fate, that had come upon the two of them. And he didn't want to. He didn't want to give up. He wanted to keep fighting, he wanted to keep hoping, that one day he might get his best friend back. But he knew, he should probably give up the hope, since it would probably end up hurting him in the end. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to give up on his friend. He had known Iwaizumi for so long, that he couldn’t just give up.

Oikawa often wondered, how Iwaizumi felt. Did he feel anything? Or where he doing just fine? Didn’t he at least feel like something was missing. Or just something was wrong? Oikawa hoped that, Iwaizumi at least felt something. Because if he didn’t. Didn’t that mean, that what Iwaizumi said, the first day he was back, was true? That Oikawa wasn’t important. Maybe Iwaizumi really meant, all he had said. Maybe Oikawa didn’t really mean anything to Iwaizumi. No, that couldn’t be true. He had had Hanahaki disease, and the fact that Iwaizumi didn’t remember Oikawa, proved that Iwaizumi had been in love with Oikawa. But did it Hanahaki really have that much impact. Was it really able to erase a person completely from someone memory? He knew, it was. All these thoughts were just Oikawa not wanting to accept reality, and he knew it. But he couldn’t do anything about it. The whole situation was just wrong to him. How could Iwaizumi really be gone?

“Tooru?” Oikawa’s mom called from downstairs. She too had felt a huge difference in Oikawa’s behaviour. She knew, there wasn’t anything, she could do. And it hurt her. She couldn’t help her boy. All she could do was hoping that one day, it would go over by itself. She hoped the best for her boy, since he had such a bright future in front of him. “You have visitors!”

Oikawa sighed deeply. He wasn’t really in a mood for visitors, who would visit him anyways? Iwaizumi? Nah that time was over. What he really wanted, was to exist. That was what, he called it, when he just laid and did nothing except existing. He didn’t do it much in the past. But the past week it had been, what took most of his time, and he honestly didn’t care.

“Hey there cap.” Oikawa recognized the voice as one of the third years but still didn’t look up. He stayed with his back towards the bed, and his eyes studying the celling. “Not so talkative?” The voice sounded again, as Oikawa felt the moment in the madras, of two people sitting down on it.

“I guess, that’s not so surprising.” Another voice sounded, another third year, who was basically a set with the first one. This one Oikawa recognized as well. “We can barely, get you to talk during training. Your sets have become terrible. Ushijima-san would be disappointed.” A laugh was heard from the two people, but then the talking voice lowered “And so would Iwaizumi, ya know.... If he was here, the old one. He would yell at you and tell you to get up. That you shouldn’t be sad because of him. That you should keep going, and not end your future, because of him.”

A sob was heard from Oikawa, as he laid a hand over his eyes to cover the tears, that had built up in his eyes. “I know.” The pain was clearly hearable, and it hurt the two friends deeply. They had never seen their friend in such a bad mood, and it wasn't a sight, they liked. “I know, I should keep moving, but I can't. I just miss him so much.” Oikawa sat up and threw his arms around his two friends neck. “Thank you for being here for me.”
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I wish i had friends like that, who i had meet TvT