There was one day that I distinctly remember thinking, “Where am I? Whose bed am I in? Did I drink last night? Who’s in bed beside me?” All of this with my eyes still closed. I remember not minding because I was warm and felt safe. I cleared my mind and tried to let sleep drift me back into my dreams when the most incredible sensation came over my whole body, Goosebumps. Confused, I opened my heavy eyes to find a most handsome boy giving me the sweetest kisses. “Good morning beautiful.” He greeted me before lying back on his side and pulling me closer so there was minimal space and our faces were basically touching. I yawned, rubbed my eyes and just lay there, smiling at him drowsily. “Wake up sleepyhead.” Harry kept saying, kissing me each time to make sure I stayed awake. “We had our first sleepover.” I finally spoke. “Yeah, we did.” He paused, “You look even more beautiful when you first wake up.” Harry said softly, looking me deep in the eyes and pushing some hair off my face. His hand lingered on my shoulder, tracing random shapes that gently tickled my skin but not enough to be a discomfort. I watched his hand and he kissed my hair as his hand travelled down to meet mine. “Your fingers fit perfectly between mine.” Harry whispered and I could feel his eyes on me but I was fascinated with Harry’s hand playing with my fingers and drawing more random shapes on my hand. We just lay there, looking in each other’s eyes, no talking, nothing. All I remember hearing is the sound of the bird outside, Harry’s and mine heartbeats and our breathing. It was the most surreal moment.
Again I remember waking up this time I felt no warmth of Harry next to me, no strong arms around me to hold me close and keep me safe. I sat up, stretching my sore back. Scoliosis is a painful curse. I was wearing some track pants and a baggy t-shirt, Harry’s of course because last night when we sat eating noodles until 1am Harry insisted I stay over and I had no pyjamas. Harry was sitting on the lounge and I stumbled over his long pant legs and curled up under his arm, my head on his chest. “I didn’t want to wake you, love.” He whispered and kissed my hair. “What are we watching?” I asked. “The morning news. It’s only 9am. The sun woke us up at 4am.” “No wonder I fell back asleep.” I laughed and watched the lady on the screen reading the news headlines in her British accent. “Do you mind if I use your laptop to FaceTime?” I asked Harry and he nodded with a smile. “Sit here, I’ll stay out of view but I’d like to see your family, not meet them but.” I laughed and sat down near him so that his arm could be snaked around my waist but him not featured on the screen. “Hey Cassandra!” My mum’s familiar face popped up on the screen waving and smiling. “Hey mum, did I catch you at an alright time?” I asked. “It’s only 7pm here, I’m just sitting down to watch Grey’s Anatomy at 8.” “Oh good, it’s 9am over here, I just woke up.” “Do you have work today?” Mum asked and I noticed Harry’s hand rubbing the skin on my waist under my shirt. “Yeah, midday till 8. Then on Friday I’ve got the night shift. I haven’t got your package either so I’ll be pretty bored.” I smiled and looked off-screen for just a second to see Harry. He was smiling the biggest I’ve seen just looking at my mum on the screen and then at me. I could tell he knew I was truly happy in this exact moment. “What’s caught your eye, darling girl?” Mum’s voice piped up, drawing my attention off Harry onto the computer screen. “It’s nothing. Well, no it’s something but you’ll find out in the future, I think. I hope.” I stuttered and blushed. “Hey Mum I’m gonna have a shower and go do some jobs but I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning your time. I just had to say hello.” I smiled and felt a tear welling up; these goodbyes always got me teary. “Alright darling. Stay safe as always. I’m so so proud of you, I miss you more every day but I love you even more.” Mum said, crying but her smile still on her face. “Bye Mum, miss and love you too.” I replied, blowing a kiss before pressing the end call button. Harry’s arm was immediately pulling me close. “She seems a lovely lady, Cassandra. I hope I get to meet her one day.” He comforted me but I refused to let myself cry. “I’m hungry.” I announced, smiling. Harry’s grin came to his face and he led me by the hand to the kitchen. “Up.” He said as he lifted me to sit on top of the island counter. He paused for just a moment to kiss me, my hair falling around my face with my arms around his neck and his hands on my upper thighs. “How do choc chip and banana pancakes sound?” Harry asked with a grin. “That sounds delicious! How can I help?” I replied as Harry whisked around gathering equipment and ingredients. “Sit right there and look gorgeous as always.” I giggled and blushed as his reply. “That was full of cheese, Styles.” “I know.” He laughed.
“Thank. You. Very. Much. Mister. Harry.” I said between Harry’s kisses. There we stood at his open door, him in his pyjamas still and me having to leave to go to work. “Why do I have to work?” I sighed and hugged my arms tighter around his waist, resting my head against his chest. “I wish you didn’t have to but you must. Want me to pick you up after your shift finishes? I know somewhere we could go?” Harry asked me and when I looked up his eyes full of excitement made me interested. “I’ll be expecting you at 6 waiting outside.” I smiled and with one last lingering kiss I ran down to my waiting taxi. My phone buzzed in my pocket, it was a message from Harry. “I miss you already. I loved waking with you in my arms today. We should do it more often. Have a good shift. Harry xx” the text read with a selfie Harry had took this morning of me cuddled against his chest, asleep and him kissing my hair.
After that everything changed. For the better, I try to think. But still, it was so long ago. How can I be expected to remember how I felt back then. All I know now is that that photo is hung proudly on the wall with all the others and I sit in my chair and look at the photos every day and all the memories come to life.
