I remember Harry always knew how to cheer me up whenever I had had a tough or long day at work. Saturday’s were the busiest and most stressful day of the week and I always seemed to get a shift every Saturday. I took it as a compliment to my ability to work well under pressure. I’d always been told I had people skills beyond my age. Harry had made a ritual of sleeping over every Saturday night and bringing my favourite take away and some movies. I would get home, have a shower, text Harry I was home and he would be over within the hour. From there we would eat dinner in the kitchen feeding each other playfully, normally me sitting on the bench and Harry standing between my legs. After that we would fall together on the couch and watch The Notebook, The Breakfast Club, Napoleon Dynamite, Grease or a DVD of Coldplay on their Mylo Xyloto tour back in 2012. “How about The Notebook and then Coldplay tonight, babe?” Harry asked and I nodded in agreement. After putting in the disc he joined me back on the couch, lying on his back and taking my hand saying “Come ‘ere” as I climbed on top and lay on his chest, his arms tight around my waist. “Are we going to cry this time?” I giggled, remembering all the times that both of us shed a tear throughout the movie. “I don’t know about me but you always need some tissues at the end.” Harry laughed, giving me the pleasure of looking into his green orbs. “It’s a sad movie!” I defended myself but Harry’s expression remained serious. “I know, babe. Ssh, it’s starting!” Both of our heads turned to the screen and all was silent apart from the narrator’s voice. Throughout the movie Harry’s hands would find one of mine and the other would twirl strands of my hair around his fingers.
“I know I say this every time we watch the movie, but please don’t cry babe. I hate seeing you upset.” Harry soothed me, rubbing my back with one hand and the other still playing with my hair. “It’s not my fault that they made such a sad but amazing movie!” I giggled and Harry sat up, his strong arms holding me close to him as he did. We sat for a moment, my legs wrapped around his waist; my head nestled under his chin and his hands loosely around my waist. “I love Saturday nights.” Harry whispered and I felt him kiss my temple. “Can we have food?” I asked, smiling and I could see the relief in Harry’s eyes when he saw this. “Oh, shit! I almost forgot!” He cursed and untangled me from him so he could run off quickly to my kitchen. I waited patiently for a few minutes, flicking through the channels before my vision went black. “Do you trust me?” Harry’s voice echoed through my eyes. “Yes, why?” I replied and I could feel him smiling. That was the first time we’d admitted that to each other. “Okay, let me guide you somewhere. I have a surprise.” He said and just as I was about to open my mouth to warn him if it was something I was scared of he spoke again, “And don’t worry it’s not a spider. I would never ever do that to you.” I smiled and followed Harry’s instructions. “Keep your eyes closed. I need to take my hands away.” Harry said and I did as I was told, I loved surprises too much to ruin them. “Open your eyes, love.” I did and before me was a small cake, just big enough for the two of us that read ‘Australia + England = Carry’. The name that Harry’s fans called us, our ‘ship’ name. “What’s this about, Styles?” I asked as he passed me the cake and took out his phone to snap a photo so I pulled my biggest cheesy smile. “I was bored today, I felt like cake and you were on my mind so I put the three together into something we could share.” He cooed in my ear as he came around to take a selfie with the cake, him and I and a smile spread across my face. “I seem to be on your mind a lot, Harry.” I laughed and he replied, “Well, I can’t say anything to get myself out of that one. Let’s eat some cake!” “Nice change of subject.” I winked at him with which he grinned and laughed. “What can I say? I’m smooth talking Styles.” Harry said and raised his arms in a questioning manner.
We sat on the chaise bit of the lounge suite with my back against Harry’s chest and the cake in my lap. Mylo Xyloto played through the house, the colours in the production shining off the screen and lighting up the room before the familiar lyrics of the beginning of Hurts Like Heaven echoed ‘Written in graffiti on a bridge in a park do you ever get the feeling that you’re missing the mark, it’s so cold, so cold, it’s so cold, so cold’. I danced around in Harry’s lap to the song, grinning like a fool and pretending I was in the mosh pit in the Stage De France in Paris watching them live. I heard Harry laugh in the background and leaned back on him to find that he had his phone out recording my simultaneous cake eating and stationary moshing. His stretched arm held the camera up as his face got closer to mine and he said, “You’re lucky I like you.” “Or what?” “Or I’d think you were a total nutter.” I felt him smile into the kiss and I’m sure he could feel my smile as well.
“This is my favourite song.” I said out-loud as the introduction to Fix You played. “Mine too. Dance with me?” Harry was up in a second, his hand out-held for me. I took it gladly and stepped close to him, his eyes not leaving mine as we started to slowly sway. “Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you.” Harry sang softly into my ear. It was the most perfect moment. “I have always wanted to slow dance to this song.” I confessed in a whisper. I felt Harry’s warm hands finding their way onto my bare skin under my shirt and a sigh escaped my lips in which Harry replied with a quiet chuckle. The song picked up-tempo but our pace stayed the same, swaying side to side every second. The crowd began to sing and I joined them at a whisper. Harry saying “And I will try to fix you.” Against my cheek and finished the song with a deep but gentle and passionate kiss. Every Teardrop is a Waterfall was next on the set-list and I pulled away from Harry’s warm and love embrace to dance. “I turn the music up, I’ve got records on.” I sang along, almost shouting and Harry laughing in the background. I didn’t care who was watching me, I was dancing like no one was watching and shouting the lyrics totally caught up in the moment. Opening my eyes only for a second, I saw Harry dancing beside me, looking just as stupid as I did. His hands enveloped mine as we both continued to jump around like teenagers singing our hearts out. I loved seeing Harry let go completely, all his cares forgotten and living for the moment. It made butterflies erupt in my tummy seeing the smile on his face as he sang the lyrics with all his heart.
I remember each of those Saturday nights. They were what I looked forward to each week and they were all that got me through the ten-hour shift before hand. I will cherish the nights we lay awake, Harry covering me in excessive amounts of blankets because I was complaining of being cold and then was unable to hold me in his arms because the pile of blankets made me too big to fit his arms around. Other nights just the warmth of his bare chest was enough to send me off to his with him singing lyrics in my ears from songs I had never heard. Nothing was defined, nothing was certain, nothing was serious, we were just young, dating and having fun. I always knew that things would change but not this much. What I’d give to go back to the times the photos on the wall document.
