No One Asked, But Here.

Them. (Final Part 1/2.)

NOW WE ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL. In all honesty, high school wasn't as complicated as middle school. It's pretty easy to explain if you ask me. Okay let me rephrase that. It's a lot to explain, but there is only like 1 or 2 guys for each grade level. Or maybe 3 or 4. Moving on then.

Freshman Year. I wasn't that distracted by guys in the beginning. That didn't mean I would take a look or two though. So it started with this one dude in my NJROTC class named Joseph. I just found him attractive. That was it. He was one of those cocky guys though that got on your nerves. Plus, he moved at the end of the school year, so eh. So this is kind of similar to 7th grade when it comes to the next few, but I won't really go into that much detail with any of them. There was Michael S. again since I had him for marching band. He had a girlfriend for about the rest of high school, so I gave up on him my first year. There was Adam F. He used to tease me in middle school, but mainly just made jokes to me when I got to high school. This didn't age well or last long, so it went away. Oh, he was in band too. Uggghhh, so I had previously typed this out, but then my fucking laptop decided to be stupid and restart. This next guy was in band. His name was Alexander M. Long story short, I got his kik from one of my friends, after a few days told him about my feelings, got rejected, cried my eyes out to my best friend at the time after lunch. I lied when I said it'd be just 4 people. This is the last one. So this last guy wasn't in band. He wasn't someone I knew before. And he didn't exactly go to the same high school as I did. However, he was in the same program as me and he was one of my brother's close friends. Which meant he was a whole ass senior and I was a whole ass freshman. (The first guy was in the same grade as me while the other two are a grade above me.) Okayy, soo our NJROTC program consisted of two other schools. Those two other schools would take the bus to my school where the class was held. So anyways, I liked this dude that February before he graduated all the way up to when he graduated and maybe a month or so afterwards. He was pretty blunt and could come off as rude to other people. Oh yeah, his name was Aaron F. We mainly used his last name, but I'm just going to stick with "this guy." I had used the excuse of texting all the seniors that year if they had an advice for the underclassmen before they departed in order to text him. I didn't really get the answer I was expecting from him. Instead of using words he sent me a random meme. And that's how I started texting from there. Sending random memes to him, receiving some back. Talking about randomness and nonsense and the feeling of being afraid to say something stupid that'd ruin it. There were times when we texted where we'd ask each other questions to get to know each other better. However, in person we never really talked. That was my fault though. I was just too nervous around him and it was ridiculous. There was about one or two times where I gathered the courage to say something simple, but that was about it. Did my brother ever know I was texting this dude? Nope. Not at all. At least I don't think so. It didn't mean that he never found out about my feelings for him. Long story short for this part, one of my cousins accidentally let it slip that I had a crush in front of my brother. He asked who it was, I wouldn't answer, he asked his friend group (which Aaron just so happened to be in) if they knew and one of the guys who I told let it out. But when he texted me later that same day he never mentioned it. I still don't know what he exactly though about it, but I don't need to. Anyways, at the end of the school year or near I had come up with this idea with my friend group at the time. It was for each of us to choose a senior in the program and write a letter to them. I was encouraged to write it to the guy and it was almost like a love letter, but wasn't. I mentioned that I liked him, but I didn't really go into detail. So the day we gave our instructor to give the letters out was probably a day I wanted to throw my brother out a window. Shit I keep forgetting to mention a few details. My brother went to the same school as him. The classes are mainly split into the first year/second year cadets and the third/fourth year cadets. Two instructors and all the seniors were in the second instructor's room while I was in the first instructor's room with my friends. Anyways, after their schools showed up my friends and I all went to go make sure they were handed out and stuff. Turns out we forgot one girl. So we all took turns writing stuff. When me and one of my friends went to go give it, my brother was smirking and so were some of the people in there. I knew right off the back what the reason was, so I gave the letter to the girl and left. As they all began to leave back to their school some of the senior girls who witnessed it came up to me and gave me a hug telling me that I shouldn't cry over that asshole. I tried not to, but when I got home I cried to my sister about it. I didn't text him for a few days, but it wasn't like I got anything anyways. After awhile, I was curious on what he even did with my letter. So I gave into temptation and asked him if he threw it away. He texted back and told me no. I asked him if what he thought of it and he told me that it was nice and sweet. So from there we kind of just went back to normal. There's a part of me that feels like maybe he did like me back, but since I was his best friend's little sister he didn't do anything. The other part of me is just thinking that he probably just enjoyed talking to me or something. Anyways, he was it for my freshman year. It ended with him and lasted a bit into my sophomore year.