TW - r*pe
𝘈𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦 - 𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯
this chapter is inspired by a story of a girl who is a victim of sexual assault. I found her story on youtbe. I thought her writing was amazing and the way she explained how she felt. If you have ever been in this situation I just want to tell you how sorry I am. It is not your fault, and I promise, that will make you stronger. It is more than normal that you feel embarrassed and guilty, but I promise it is NOT your fault. I love you all so much, take care.
There's a certain point of consciousness when you're no longer asleep, but you aren't close to awake yet. Where your body seems to sink still heavy into the mattress. A reddish hue pushes into her eyes lids and the light from the window pulls her a little further out of sleep. She opened her eyes slightly. Rays of sunlight rest upon her face. She was laying, feeling the twisted sheet with her fingertips. She feels movement next to her. A vivid memory from the night before hits her as she forces her head to look on her left.
As soon as she sees his face, she freezes. She can only hear her heartbeat as he smiles at her, as if she was going to trust him after what he has done. Aaron was a friend. They knew each other, and she helped him study sometimes. She would've never guessed that this was who he really was. She was guilty for trusting him, because a lot of people did tell her to watch herself from him.
He stood up, dressing himself. She sighed as she realized she was going to have an opportunity to leave without talking to him. He threw a shirt over his head, walking out of the room. She tries to push herself from the bed, as far as possible. That same bed ave her flashes. She wanted to walk away from it, but a sharp feeling of needles and sharp knifes stabbing her inner tight area overwhelmed her, making her fall on the ground. She looked like a baby deer learning how to walk. She looked helpless. She felt helpless. She felt her head pound as if her heart was between her ears.
She looked around the the room, looking her for her phone. Her gaze sticks to a sheet, place on the floor. Like a watercolor of rough brushstrokes, her blood was spread on it. Her bloody handprint. She looks down, spotting deep cuts and bruises on her legs, inner thighs, arms, stomach. She folded the sheet, trying to get her mind off of the pain; inside and out. But no matter how she folded the sheet, there was blood everywhere. A rush of fear, anxiety and embarrassment cloud her eyes.
With tears in her eye, she stands up, grabbing her phone and her purse. She looked at the time- 8:34AM. She tried to walk to the bathroom as fast as she could. She dressed herself, grabbing a wet cloth from the marble sink. She gently whipped her wounds, hissing at the cold material and the sharp pain. She threw the cloth, walking out of the bathroom, and his room. The living room was filled with people passed out on the floor.
Parties like these were not her type of parties. Where it's all about the drugs and alcohol. As soon as she walked out, she started sobbing. She grabbed her phone, wanting to call someone. She wasn't even sure who she was going to call. She saw a missed call and a voice message from 'eth'. She played the voice message.
"Hey. I was just calling to let you know I was going to come over, but Grayson told me you're going to a party with Olivia and Amanda. Uh... yeah.. just... let me know when you get home. If you need anything just let me know. To drive you guys home or something.. anyway have a great night. Stick with Aaron, I'm sure he'll take care of you. He's great... uh anyway I'll see you.. bye"
"Hi. I'm sorry I didn't answer. I stayed over at his last night. I didn't see the call. Something happened. I just need some time alone right now to process tings. I'm sorry Ethan. I'll see you some day" she sniffed.
...
She slowly approached the door. Someone was knocking aggressively, but it didn't scare her. She also didn't bother to hurry up her pace. She twisted the knob of the door, and as soon as the door was open. Someone grabbed her around her back, pulling her closer. She knew the scent, the hug. She didn't need to look. He let go and her eyes locked with his hazel ones. "What happened?" He said as he cupped her cheeks. She just buried her face into his neck. She didn't even know she needed him this badly.
"I can't" she sobbed "tell you". "I wont push you too much, but I have to know. I cant watch you like this." He whispered. She shook her head. The expression in I his face when he looked at her sob in his chest, showed his heart hurt. As if he was watching his mom or his brother suffer. "Emma" his voice cracked "please" he whispered. She looked up at him. She let go from the hug. "Last night" she sobbed more "I was... r*aped" she sobbed even louder.
It hurt more coming out of her mouth. Her arms were against her chest as she felt her heart break into pieces. She gasped for air. Meanwhile Ethan was still processing what she said. He couldn't believe someone could hurt the delicate girl standing in front of him. He felt his body fall apart as he reached his arm to hold himself on his feet. He saw red. If he had a gun, he wouldn't hesitate to murder the person that did this to her. He saw her as a porcelain doll, that was now broken. Someone did this to Emma, his Emma.
"Who" he snapped. She looked up at him. "Tell me who dared to-" she cut him off. "Aaron" she shivered as the name escaped her mouth. The anxiety in her shook her up, as she slammed herself to the wall behind her. She buried her head in her hands as she slid down.
...
She panted heavily, covered in sweat and tears. She covered her mouth, her eyes wide open. It was a horror. She didn't even notice him staring at her. "Emma?" Ethan said. She turned around. "A nightmare?" He asked. She didn't answer or do anything, and he instantly knew. He hugged her tightly, and that's when she realized. She can call him "just a friend" when people ask her if they are dating, but he is the one that's actually always there for her. He is the shoulder she cries on. He is the person that actually listens to her when she talks about her problems, even if it's some dumb stuff like how much she hates her period because its hurts and she eats and then looks fat to herself. He is the person who brings so much joy and life in her throughout the day, and so much warmth and love during the night.
She felt like flying while he was hugging her. She forgot about every problem, every awful thing that happened to her. She felt safe. Right there- into his arms. She felt something shift. Something in her heart. It was full of warmth. Her head was on the cloud nine, and without thinking she cupped his cheeks, and connected their lips. She felt him shake slightly, but he kissed back. His lips were like everything she thought they were- soft like silk, tasted like vanilla. She forgot her own name by how hypnotized she was by him.
She let go, to catch her breath, but it was once again gone when she saw his eyes. Moon was pointing at them, as if it was marking them for her to look. "I love you" she mouthed, thinking he wont notice. "I love you too" he smiled at her. She blushed, burying her head in his neck.
