Stay With Me

Chapter 45

Song ATM: Make You Feel My Love- Ed Sheeran (Bob Dylan Cover)

*****

Haven't been, wanted to go, or even thought about a church since my mother's funeral. Yet, I was here searching for her. While doing so, I saw my father with my family waving and it kind of warmed my heart seeing it.

They were here for her too even with all the crap going on between us. Reassured me that she wouldn't be alone, just like me they would be there for her.

I nodded quickly then continued looking around but didn't see her. I expected her to be in front with the rest of the family but I didn't see her in the first few rows.

I started scanning the whole church now nervous she wouldn't be at her mothers funeral. I know it was hard but, it was the last goodbye. She would regret it if she wasn't here.

I froze seeing someone in the last row alone. High bun, black dress, big glasses covering their face leaning on the wall. It was her. I was nervous but more sad to see her like this. The girl that always brightened my day looking so empty...

I quietly walked over thinking of what to say. Maybe I didn't know exactly what it was yet but I knew I would be here for her. Even if she didn't want me too.

I still and always will love her.

I quietly sat down next to her and saw breathing coming out hard and shaky. I bit my lip feeling my own eyes filling with tears witnessing this. "Hey..." I whispered and she looked at me for a second then back down sniffling.

"Hey" she barely whispered out. "I'm so sorry" I whispered, it was the first thing I could think of.

She nodded swallowing and it went silent again. I looked down looking at her hands shake and grip the tissues tightly. I wanted to hold her, I wanted to kiss her, do something to help her but, what could I do? What could I possibly do to make this better?

I gently touched her hand making her flinch a bit but not pull away as I brought it to my mouth kissing it. She bit her lip looking over to me but didn't speak. "I'm here for you. You know that right? Anythin-"

"Leah..." someone said behind me. I turned seeing a group of young ladies smiling at me then looking over to her. "I'm sorry for your lost baby... Shes in a better place" one with curly blonde hair whispered and I nodded agreeing.

"Why aren't you in the front with your family sweetie?" The one with light brown hair said and I turned to see her shaking her head looking down. It hurt too much.

"You don't want to go up there and see her one last time?" One asked but I wasn't sure which one. My eyes were glued on her as my hand didn't let go of hers either. She just shook her head again biting her lips. "It's the last time to say your goodbyes, that's all you'll get" "She right baby you need to go up there" "At least move up" They said but she didn't move an inch.

I leaned in "You don't have to go up to see her but you should be with your family... I'll go with you if you want" I said and she shook her head quickly letting her lips go "I don't want to go up there... at all" She whispered and I nodded. "Come on swe-" "No" she stated hard shaking even more.

Being in the front would be too much, she didn't want to see her like that. Once she said she didn't want to go once, I let it go.

"Leah-" she cut one of them off. "I'm not going" she stated in a hard tone with her voice cracking. Tears started running down her cheeks from under the glasses. "I don't want to go up there so just please ..." she whispered as more started to fall. I nodded fine with it she was here, that's all I could ask for.