Who Am I, Really?

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

His lab is in my sight. The posters and windows blur past my vision. I can think of one thing, and only that one thing. That thing being how much I am already missing my brother, although I have only just learned about his death.

"I've probably fallen right into his trap. I don't care. All I want is my brother," I whisper to myself. "Y-y-you better be okay, Spine. I'm n-n-not gonna lose another sibling. Not again." I run through the open door frame, into Lab 18. There, I see him, lying on the floor, unclothed, and leaking. Leaking BLUE MATTER. "NO! NONONONO! No! No..." I slump next to his corpse. "No...y-y-ya can't be..."

"Oh, but he is."

"W-W-WHY? WHY DO YOU TERRORIZE ME? J-JUST BECAUSE IT'S FUN TA SEE ME SUFFER? FIX 'IM! NOW! PLEASE! I'll do whatever you want. I'll be unhappy for the rest of my life. J-j-just...save 'im." I lean my head on Spine's shoulder, slowly turning my head into his leaking chest. "H-h-he matters so m-m-much ta me..." The blue matter is getting all over my face. I don't care. "I just want m-m-my little brother back..." I whisper in between sobs.

"Look, I love seeing you in pain, but..."

"But w-w-what?" I ask, pushing my face harder into his chest.

"But I'll fix him. On one condition."

"Y-y-ya will? Anythin'. Anythin' at all."

"You can't dress like that anymore."

"B-but...I...okay. Fine." It kills me inside, knowing that I will have to live the rest of my eternity as a male.

"Okay then. Get off him, boy."

"Yes, s-s-sir. Should I go an' c-c-change?"

"Yes. Go."

"Oh. Okay." I get up, place one last kiss on my brother's cheek, and leave. "Goodbye, S-Spine...for now." I turn my head back to Six. "Fix 'im. O-or I'll kill you."

"Leave. Now."

"C-consider me gone." I finally leave the lab, dreading every step I take. I don't want to get changed. But, at least it will be worth it for Spine.

I continue walking down the hallway, making my pace as slow as it possibly can be, swishing my skirt the entire way. I rub my hands against my stomach, looking down at my chest. "I don't want ta g-g-give 'em up..." But, eventually, the time comes. I reach my room. I droned it out for as long as I could. But, maybe I could try and lengthen my time even more. I shut the door to my room and fall on to my bed. I wrap myself in my covers, hugging my chest. "Why? W-w-why do I feel this is so right when it's not? Why am I a-a-always so...confused? What is wrong with me?" I curl up in a ball and the oily tears that I have come to know as an enemy start streaming down my face, onto the covers. The world comes crashing down on me, the losses of the few people that I loved crushing my soul. Julia, Spine, Jon, Upgrade, Paige, I just want them all back, close to me, to comfort me. Here. Now. Not somewhere where I can't get to them. Here in Walter Manor. In Temecula. The cries rack my every breath, even when I beg it not to. All I can do is cry here, alone, like the little child I am. I can't hear anything besides my gears creaking as I shudder. But yet, I do hear something. But what?

PHOTO IS NOT MINE. I THINK IT'S FROM SOMEONE ON TUMBLR.