"I can't take this," I mutter to myself. I pull a new blade out of my razor, then push the sleeve of my jumper up, a line of faded cuts sprawled out for me to see. I'm pathetic, just like everyone tells me. It's not like Michael really loves me, he feels sorry for me I bet.
I can feel the cold metal hit my skin then tearing the healed skin apart, reopening it. The blood starts to flow almost instantly, my tears flowing faster as I remember every hateful comment someone has said to myself.
It felt better too do this. It was less painful then the hate.
I was continuously slitting me skin but then got the shock of my life, someone reaches from behind me and rips the blade from my grasp. I quickly turn around, wondering who the person is that's trying to keep me in this poor world, to not just end it all.
"Michael," I manage to get out, my head feeling faint from the losing the blood I have. I look down at the pool of blood. Thank god, it will be all over soon.
Michael doesn't say anything,but the tears forming in his eyes are obvious. He seems shocked, confused by my actions.
He notices that my wrist is still bleeding and grabs a towel from next to him and holds it against my cuts, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. I try to fight against him but I'm too weak and dizzy, not able to push him away. My eyes are fighting to stay open as I fall to the floor.
I watch as Michael pulls out his phone, dialling a number for the ambulance as he uses his other to hold the pressure.
I can hear Michaels voice telling the person on the other line that I'm an attempted suicide, quickly explaining the story and giving them our address before hanging up and moving his attention back to me.
"Don't leave me, please," he says "I need you, I need you here with me."
I try to shake my head, only causing to make myself more dizzy. I try and fight off the darkness, wanting to hear what Michael has to say. Because I still love him.
"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, the whole world loves you," he tells me. "You're funny, strong, amazing, nice, and caring. I care about you so much, so much that it scares me that you want to leave this world, that you want to leave me. You're the most important thing in my life and I'd do anything to see you happy. I wouldn't be the only person who misses you, the girls will, the boys will, the fans will. So many people will be heartbroken about you leaving this world forever. And as soon as you go, there will be no light in this world"
Each word hits me hard, making me feel regretful for what I have done. I try to form words, to apologise and tell Michael just how perfect he is. But I had not strength, slowly becoming more heavy.
"We'll get you help, princess, I love you," he tells me softly just as the ambulance staff come in, just as my eyes start to softly close.
"I love you too," i finally mange to get out before I'm taken over by blackness. I knew that that blackness wasn't the last thing I would see. I knew I would wake up next to Michael holding my hand telling me he loves me a million times.
