Tripping| Van McCann

16. Unbearable

Van's POV

We resumed the little local tour we had as we moved our way from the cathedral to the town's university, which was another spectacular of the place. For me it wasn't of much difference, to be here and there, seeing sights of places. But for her it would be a memory, where leads her from now to the future, where would be her past, where our lives just overlapped and continued to apart from each other till we meet each other again, if fates allow.

She was sitting next to me on a random bench around the campus, as our tour guide suggested that we might as well took a break and rest for a bit, before vibing off to another spot until reaching the end. We bought ourselves two cups of coffee, sipping it carefully in case it got too hot so the tongue burnt.

"It's quite a scenery here," she mused, her eyes zooming in and out of the grassy land in front of us, averting towards the buildings, scanning through some students and professors who were walking across the yard with a thick sense of belonging to the school, and lastly back to me as she drew up a small smile on her face.

"Yeah," I nodded without actually meaning it. Scenery for sure would be lovely to enjoy, but without a good company, it'd just be a waste.

I glanced at her shortly before directing my eyes back to the ground, for it was covering my true intention, or to pretend there's something on the tip of my boots. One look and it might kill me. I couldn't ask myself to be properly saying my feelings out loud to her. It was so arduous, that one part of you conflicting over the other part of you, in which the debate was always on the lapse of time.

I tried to hide it from her, but she was so witty and she sensed it before I knew it, that she even came across a way to lessen my sudden callousness. It was by far much delight to have a friend like her-or imagine what a perfect lover she would be.

The thought itself was unbearable, so I let them mingled themselves upon my head, swirling up and down, then finally got control of my own mind, dragging my focus back to the surreal surroundings. People started following the tour guide again, and so we followed suit.

"You're gonna stay in the dormitory in uni?" I asked in a casual tone.

"Yep, since I've logged that on for ages," she responded matter-of-factly. "Just by chance that I'd run into a terrible roommate."

"That would be a nightmare for ya," I chuckled. "And perhaps you're gonna miss me loads," I winked at her, maximising the charm I could gather. We broke it off in a laugh again. "I must be missing you," she beamed at the thought of that. "Didn't think uni guys would be that attractive."

"That sounds undervalued. Like I'm of nothing but a nice painting," my face saddened a little, thinking myself as nothing of intellectual beauty like she was.

"Oh, you wouldn't think of that, would you?" she ceased to a giggle that was so suave and light-hearted. As if my worries were levitated from its weight. I watched her face twinkled from one expression to another, before finally setting it down for me-this was the side she projected to people, not merely limited to anyone and me.

"You look a bit off, Van," she pointed out like it wasn't obvious. "I didn't mean it. You weren't the same kind as those were," she pressed her words against me, trying to dissolve the doubts I'd never managed to rescue myself from. "I mean, like your music is great. I've listened to all your songs all day and I wasn't a bit tired of it," she added, rendering the waves of my thoughts calm and steady effortlessly. I needed not to say a word out loud and she could hear my thoughts, give me the peace of mind I'd never endured. Her hazelnut irises fixated themselves on me, for I could merely see my reflection in those. I was such a miniature under her grandiose feminity. Maybe she was too good for me.