[Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba] Stay With Me [GiyuShino]

Chapter Four: Crystal Tears

It's been almost a week since I was dropped back into the past, and my injuries have healed enough that I'm able to walk around the mansion. I've been looking for Kocho since I woke up, but I can't seem to find her anywhere. I debate asking one of the little girls.

"Tomioka-sama! Did you need anything?" one of the girls - I think her name was Kiyo - asks me.

I nod my thanks. "Do you know where Kocho is? I have to ask her something."

She doesn't question my intentions because I've been on many missions with Shinobu, and all she does is point to a small door at the end of the hallway that I've never noticed.

"You'll find Shinobu-sama in the study." she says.

I thank her and walk to the study, placing my hand on the doorknob. I turn it halfway and freeze. I hear muffled sounds coming from inside, like someone is trying hard not to cry. Ignoring the guilt twisting my stomach, I bend my head and peer into the room through the crack between the door and the wall.

What I see makes my eyes sting and throat contract painfully.

Kocho is gripping a quill that's been broken in half, stabbing it into the paper but letting the ink bleed into it without forming words. She must be biting her tongue to keep from making noise, because crimson leaks from the corner of her mouth and onto the desk. Her hand trembles, then suddenly jolts, and the tip of her quill rips through the page.

The sight of her eyes is enough to make my own water. The few rays of sunlight that manage to penetrate through the only small window in the room cast light onto the tears that threaten to fall. Her eyes are already wider than per usual, but the next time she jolts, her eyes shoot open, and the first tear rolls down her cheek.

As it falls, light shines through it - almost like it's inside - giving the appearance that it's made of crystal. The crystal tears drip from her eyes, dropping to the surface of her wooden desk, shattering into small pieces and whisked away by the air.

I watch silently from behind the door, not daring to take a full breath, afraid that she might hear me. I want to help her but my feet feel leaden and weighted; I can't take a step. I don't know if I could help her even if I went inside. Her small, stifled sobs are needles, jabbing into my arms and legs, pinning me in place. The blood still dripping from her mouth is another weapon turned against me, a spear poised to my heart, a threat to my life if I move an inch forward. Her tears, oh, her tears hurt me most of all. The spear comes closer and pricks me in my chest.

I take a shuddering breath and wet my lips, closing my eyes to shut out the horrible visions swirling in front of my eyes as I watch her scream silently. Slowly, slowly, the needles fade away, and I'm able to move my arms. I reach around the spear, and grasp the door knob. I take a sharp, calming breath, and push open the door, trying my best not to startle Kocho.

I lean forward slightly, and the spear pushes into my chest, just in front of my heart, as another crystal drop plinks onto the desk. My hands start to shake, and I try desperately to still them.

I try to tell myself it's not real, that the spear prodding my heart is merely the emotions that I've always been so careful to shut off. Only selfish fear. I'm only here, back in this time, because of one person. One person I have to save no matter what. Even if I have to walk through hell and back. Kocho Shinobu. I have to save her.

I step forward, into the room. The spear thrusts itself through my heart, sending one last wave of fear shooting through my bloodstream, and disappears. I take another calming breath and approach her slowly.

One step, then another. I keep advancing.

Kocho notices me two steps in, and tries to wipe the tears and the blood from her face. She takes fast, shallow breaths and closes her eyes once. The corners of her lips quirk up, and when she opens her eyes, all traces of emotion evaporate. She's back to normal, fake smiling, fake cheerful, all those monstrous emotions shut into a small room at the back of her mind.

I don't understand. She must have done this multiple times before, to get so good at turning off that raging sadness.

"Kocho. You don't need to hide it. I saw everything." I say.

My voice might have choked up on the word 'everything', but she didn't seem to notice. I'm also quite good at hiding my emotions, although, not on the same level as her.

She stiffens, then forces herself to relax. "Please don't tell anyone."

I place a hand on the back of her chair. "Why not?"

She clenches her fist around part of the broken quill, and I instinctively reach forward to pry it out of her hand. The edge is sharp, and I'm worried she'll cut herself. Kocho pulls her hand out of my grasp and drops the quill.

"I don't want anyone to worry about me." Kocho says quietly. "I need to appear as I usually am, for the sake of the Corps."

She stands up, and I step back to give her space.

"Besides," she continues. "No one has ever helped me before."

The words trigger my memory, and I quickly review what I know of her life. She lost both her parents to a demon at a very young age, so she probably didn't remember them in too much detail. And with her airheaded elder sister, it always seemed like Shinobu was the one who watched out for them both. Of course, she was the one who saved and adopted the girls that worked at the Butterfly Estate, so she was the one helping them. What she'd said was true.

No one had ever really helped her, at least, not for free.

"I'll help you." I say immediately.

But it's too late, she's already left, and the door has already shut behind her.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who voted on the other chapters! I hope you'll like this one. Not too sad yet, but it's getting there. Also, this chapter is longer than the others, as you may have noticed. I think all the chapters from now on will be around the same length. Thank you for reading! :)

PS: It hurts me when Shinobu hurts, so I felt really bad writing this.