[Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba] Stay With Me [GiyuShino]

Chapter Eight: I Can't Smile

Shinobu screamed to the heavens for help they did not give. She cried until the world bled together and tore apart, until all that remained was an abyss of black where sadness and anger thrived.

She woke up a couple of hours later, back at the Estate, her home, and shot out of her futon, scrambling to get ready. She shoved all her emotions into a small bottle in her heart, so full it was almost bursting, and screwed the cap on tightly. She washed the tears from her face and pulled on her sisters haori. She couldn't have anyone worry about her.

Pasting that fake smile on her face, she turned the knob of the door and stepped out.

When she saw everyone waiting for her, with worried eyes and comforting words, the bottle cracked, then almost shattered. Her smile began to disappear, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't summon it back. She covered her mouth with a hand and excused herself, dashing up to the roof of her quarters, where she could be alone.

She tucked her legs into herself and began to shake. Everyone was dead. She would never see them again. They lay in their cold graves, some cremated alive, others scorched so badly that their faces were unrecognizable. She tasted salt. She was crying. She bit her tongue again, harder than usual, so no one would hear. With trembling fingers, she wiped her tears.

Kocho Shinobu tried to smile, and failed for the first time in her life. It was too much. Everyone she loved was dying. Almost everyone was already gone. Why did she have to survive? It hurt. It hurt so much to know that she was breathing and they weren't. It hurt to smile when she'd been broken into pieces. And now it was impossible.

Her life was worth nothing, she told herself, if she couldn't smile. If she could assure everyone that she was fine, that she was good enough to fill the void that her late sister left. She asked herself why she was still breathing.

Die. Die. I have to die. Please. Let me die. Let me disappear.

She took a shuddering breath, not allowing herself to look over the edge of the roof. Knowing she wouldn't be able to stop herself from jumping if she did. She was not allowed to die yet. She had to get revenge.

How can I be so selfish? I'm useless. Utterly useless. All I'm doing is wasting oxygen.

I should stop. But I can't stop.

She bit her tongue harder, and a shudder of pain ran through her body. She welcomed it. Pain could help her stop thinking, even just for a second.

Make me suffer. Make it hurt. I want pain. Take me apart piece by piece until I cease to exist.

She shook terribly. Shinobu shrugged off her haori and set it next to her. She placed her butterfly pin on top. She didn't want to damage the things that reminded her of her dead family. Her hair reached to her collarbone, and it blew in the wind, lashing across her face.

She debated cutting her arm with one of her daggers, but decided against it. I would only be a hindrance while on missions, and it might cause people to worry. she settled for biting her tongue again, in a different spot, and digging her nails into her skin. She tried to focus on the pain, but it wasn't enough.

She heard quiet footsteps, coming closer to her.

"I'm fine, Tomioka-san." she forced herself to say.

I'm not fine. Can you hear me screaming? I'm not okay.

The fabric of his haori floated in the breeze as he sat down next to her. "I can hear you." he murmured.

Those simple words tore her apart.

"I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better." he said. "But,"

She turned her head slightly towards him.

"Isn't the moon lovely tonight?" he said, looking dead into her eyes, the moon shining over his head.

Before she could make sense of the words, he left. She looked up at the moon, letting the tears run down her face. A small fragment of her shattered heart clicked back into place.

A/N: I know it was really bad, but I tried. I'm not really used to writing sad scenes yet. I'm sorry for not updating sooner! Please let me know what you think in the comments, if possible!