too good to be true {l.s}

The Plan

V

THE PLAN

November 17th

When Louis wakes up, the first image that pops into his mind, while he is still surrounded by his comfy blankets, is one of those old lollipops Louis used to beg his mom to buy him when he was still child. Chupa Chups, Louis guesses was their brand. Sweeter than sugar (just like Louis, according to Harry). They came in with this crunchy, explosive powder - probably made out of sugar mixed with a mess of different, colorful chemicals - in this small plastic bag, an envelope. It was sweet and sour, Mini Louis loved it. Instead of letting the powder cling to the lollipop, Louis would first lick the lollipop until it was gone and then, only then, he turned his attention to the little powder envelope. Louis would get the tips of his fingers sticky, eating the whole thing all at once. Sweet and sour. The artificial flavour was made to cause an explosive sensation on your mouth and Mini Louis would close his eyes whenever the feeling started, focusing on the way the sweet powder gave Louis' tongue a fun, tingly sensation. When Louis opens his eyes, he feels like the same old powder, sweet and sour, is burning in his bloodstream, exploding in fireworks made out of happiness, consuming Louis from the inside. Louis feels euphoric, tingly everywhere. It's a good way to wake up, Louis thinks as he stretches his arms above his head, feeling like you've just been struck by lightning and like its energy is still pulsing through your veins; a power made out of kindness, shocks of electricity that feel like promises of a good day. Louis is happy. After finishing his stretching, making sure that this crazy energy reaches the tip of his toe, his belly, his collarbones, his face, Louis notices that he's also hungry. Really hungry. It's not that the feeling surprises him, it doesn't. Hunger is almost a permanent state for Louis, a craving he got used to and learned how to best manage it. Louis' surprise - and his amazement, honestly - comes from the fact that this morning, on this happy, happy morning, Louis wants to do something about it. Louis is hungry and he wants, truly wants, to eat.

Both of Louis' feet hit his bedroom floor at the same time and he jumps out of his bed like a boy on a mission. He is on a mission, Mission Breakfast. Harry would be so, so proud. Before Louis even tries to control himself, he's singing. Loudly:

Well sometimes I go out by myself

And I look across the water

And I think of all the things, what you're doing

And in my head, I paint a picture

From the corner of his eye, Louis looks at his reflection in the big old mirror he keeps in his bedroom and, yeah, Louis looks good. Even in his baggy white shirt - used so many times as a pyjama that it's almost coming apart around Louis' shoulders - and sleep rumbled, Louis looks healthy. It's the first time the idea even crosses his mind in a long, long time. It's the first time ever that the idea isn't received with a need to throw up, with an urge to make himself look unhealthy again, to make himself look pretty. Louis already feels pretty; the sensation is like lightning pumping through his veins. Louis smiles a bright smile at the big old mirror and the big old mirror smiles back at him and Louis knows, can simply feel in his whole body, that today is going to be a good day.

Cos since I've come on home,

Well, my body's been a mess

And I've missed your ginger hair

And the way you like to dress