Someone who loves me (Lams)

John actually needs to grow up

Don't ask why there are geese during Canadian winter. They should be gone for our few months of peace. Just seemed like a fun idea.

I didn't realize y'all were actually into this, lol. It's kind of a short one, sorry. 

Also, I couldn't remember how to spell kettle and went through at least  three different versions of "keddel." I give up.

-John POV-

I look around the lake where Laff has decided to take the 'family' photo. It's fucking freezing in just our sweaters. A giggling Ellie is wrapped in Jordan's arms as they sway back and forth.

Whatever Christmas spirit was possessing me before is gone. They better back off a little.

I look at the snow surrounding my feet and pick up a handful. Inconspicuously, I form it into a ball.

It would certainly be a shame if this were to smack a certain someone in the back of the head.

Whoops, it accidentally slipped from my hand. What a shame.

There's a gasp from Ellie as the two of them are showered in snow. My aim isn't as direct as I'd like it to be. She turns around, but Jordan just pulls her to their chest. I don't know what they're saying, but it ends with a kiss.

Fuck.

I'm trying again. This time I'm hitting them harder and more directly. The tiny gremlin smacks me as I reach for more snow.

"What? Come on Alex, It's all in good fun."

"You can be absolutely impossible John. We both know you just like being an ass to Jordan since they're dating your sister. If you don't stop being a brat I'm putting the fucking collar back on."

"Good luck reaching."

"I have stilts now. I'm unstoppable and will not hesitate to smack you if you won't play nice with the other kids."

He pushes me away from the couple, pointing us in the direction of Laff's photo booth.

I watch Philip pull a plastic rose from his pocket and place it in his mouth as his boyfriend dips him. Fucking dramatic ass bitch. 

Glad I'm not like that.

There's a tugging on my shirt before Alex wraps his arms around me, completely enveloped in my sweater. Why does he get to be any warmer than I am? 

Whatever, at least he's not touching me with his frigid fingers.

"Guys! Check out these things!"

I follow Jefferson's gaze to a flock of big brown birds.

They strut around the lake, turning to stare at the group as we snap photos. One of them honks, causing Peggy and Natasha to snicker.

"What's your name, friend?"

Thomas kneels next to a bird, extending his hand. The little guy cocks his head as he looks at Jefferson's fingers.

And then it hisses.

Thomas lets out a scream as he scrambles away from the evidently possessed bird. James helps pull him to his feet and the two run as the bird takes a few steps in their direction.

I pull Alex back with me. Lafayette just smiles as he videotapes the entire thing.

"Meet the Canadian goose! The cruelest thing in this wonderful winter wonderland! Travel in large V's when they fly, and will not hesitate to fuck up all your shit."

"Thanks, national geographic. Kind of late to tell us that. We already know they're demonic at this point."

We all shuffle as far away from the birds as possible. I make the mistake of eye contact.