-A Little Help- (KuroKen)

18

-Mention of homophobia-

(Kenmas POV)

Again, at school the next week Kuroo walked me to all my classes, I hadn't even seen those third years yet he still insisted on being with me all day. As we walked to the roof for lunch that day I saw Kuroo constantly checking the time on his phone. He seemed a bit more worried than normal. Maybe he has something to do.

"Kuro are you good?" I asked, lifting my face from my phone to look at him.

"This girl from my class wants me to work on our project during lunch but-" I was holding him back. He doesn't need to worry so much I'm not as alone as I was in the beginning of the year. Yamamoto and Yaku will be there so I can just sit with them.

"Go. I don't want you to get a bad grade because of me. I can sit with Yamamoto and Yaku, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Kuro I'm not a baby." I sighed and went back to looking at my phone while I heard him laugh.

"Alright thanks Kitten." I'm not going to lie, the nickname still made me cringe. I was thankful for Kuroo always being by my side don't get me wrong but recently I've been feeling a little too... cramped I guess. I was glad he was giving me a bit more freedom even though I knew he was only doing it out of love.

After walking me up to the roof Kuroo left me to find Yamamoto and Yaku myself, which surprised me to be honest. I was sure he'd insist on bringing me to the table as well. He did hand me a bento box though before he left, I should really start packing my own now but I enjoyed the cute snacks Kuroo picked out for me.

"So," Yamamoto began to talk as soon as I sat down at the table. He didn't even leave any time for me to get my food out. "What happened between you and Kuroo?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked as I opened up the box and took a look at the food inside. It was the regular meal I had for lunch except the portions seemed a bit larger today than usual. I'm not an idiot, I knew he was giving me more and more over time but I didn't wanna fight back. I'm done being small and weak.

"When has Kuroo ever left you alone for this long. Skipping out on lunch is a big deal man!" Yaku smacked the back of Yamamoto's head and scoffed.

"I think it's good to have some time apart. I mean you can't rely on Kuroo forever you know." For once I did understand what Yaku was saying and I had already planned for it. I understood that everything Kuroo had done for me up until now was out of love. He didn't want to see me hurt or crying and he knew I couldn't defend myself so he gave me a hand. But now, I wanna be strong enough to fight on my own. I don't want to make Kuroo carry all my weight, I wanna carry some for myself. I love Kuroo and I don't want to push everything I've got onto him.

"I know." We ate the rest of our lunches while making casual conversation. I was becoming surprisingly comfortable around these two, I mean I could confidently say I see them as friends. And I think they see me the same, at least I hope so. It's strange I never expected to make one friend let alone two more and find love. Younger Kenma would be very confused right now.

Maybe I was feeling a bit overly confident in myself. I mean just because my panic attacks were becoming fewer didn't mean I was suddenly some strong person. Now, after attempting to go to the bathroom, faced with those same third years I realize that. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much help Kuroo gives me I still shake in their presence. I still get scared under their gazes and I still get affected by their harsh words.

"Kenma you won't believe what we saw last week." One of the boys smiled and laughed at me. "We planned to stay after practice to give you a talk but oh boy were we surprised to find you and someone else kissing! What are the odds!" The boys all laughed as they cornered me in the bathroom. Fuck they saw. Do they know who it was with? The only people I didn't want to know, knew. I'm screwed. I'm screwed but is Kuroo? Do they know who I kissed?

"You really can't get more disgusting can you Kenma-kun." But do they know who?

"I knew you were worthless but I didn't think you'd go this low." But do they know who?

"And to think it was," I felt my breath get trapped in my chest. I can't breath. They know. They know. They know. They know it was Kuroo. They're going to go after him now. They know. They know. "Kuroo of all people." They know. They know. What's that sound? Oh yeah, my heart beat and the ringing. Wow. I hadn't heard this in a while. At least it's felt like a while.

"Oh well," One of the boys snickered, honestly I couldn't care which one was talking now. "We'll talk to you two later." They waved and walked off without leaving a scratch on me. That scared me more then if they'd just beaten the shit out of me. Instead they just left me, to shake on the bathroom floor alone. Usually Kuroo would be here to hug me, tell me it would be ok. He'd ask me what was wrong and tell me everything I wanted to hear and- no. I can't keep relying on Kuroo for everything. I can't keep being weak. I wanna learn to fight on my own, I wanna learn to hold myself up. Of course I still want Kuroo by my side, I still want his hugs and kind words, but I don't want to feel like a burden anymore. 

So what if they talk to us after practice, Kuroo knew this might happen yet he kissed me in the open anyways. He doesn't care so why should I? We can do this. I can do this. Maybe it's time I took these steps on my own. I know Kuroo wants me to go to therapy and if that'll help me fight on my own then I wanna go too. I stood up from the bathroom floor and calmed myself down, the shaking stopped on its own, I stopped it on my own. I took a deep breath before returning to the lunch table. Not before peeing first of course, I did come to the bathroom for a reason.

(Kuroos POV)

I did feel slightly bad about leaving Kenma alone for lunch but I can't keep clinging to him 24/7. It hit me last week that there will be a time when I wont be there for him, when I graduate he'll need to learn to be ok on his own. I don't want to leave him of course but like I said at first I want to make him stronger, healthier, and happier. 

The project was rather boring and I didn't get along with my partner at all, she was very clearly trying to be flirty but no matter how many times I turned her down, she didn't stop trying. She was persistent, I'll give her that. However, after the bell for lunch break rang I immediately ran up to the roof to walk Kenma to class. Ok I know I said I wanted him to be a bit more independent but I still missed him during lunch.

"How was your project?" He asked me as he walked up towards me. I smiled, not because the project was good but because he started the conversation. He never does that.

"Boring but at least it's done. Anything happen during lunch?" He seemed to think for a second before he responded.

"Hey Kuro," He said as we continued to walk down the stairs and through the halls towards the first year classrooms. "How would I go about getting therapy." Was he actually considering it. Just a week ago he would have never been able to take such a step on his own, now he was the one pushing me. I felt tears well up in my eyes but not enough to spill over. "Kuro?" I whipped my eyes quickly before pushing a smile on my face and staring at him. He looks so confused, it's cute. I really love him like I really really love him. When we reached the bottom of the stairs I grabbed his wrist and pulled him under the stairs, out of the paths of other students. "Ku-" I quickly pulled him into a tight hug feeling those tears well up in my eyes again.

"I'm proud of you." I felt him tense up in my arms before relaxing again and hugging me back.

"Thanks Kuro. I'm trying." My smile widened and my tears slowly began to spill over onto his shoulder. I slowly separated our hug and stared into his eyes. "Kuro? Why are you-" Again I cut him off but this time with a kiss instead of words. Just a gentle kiss filled with utter joy and happiness. Kenma was trying, he really was and I could tell. He wasn't just trying for me anymore, he was trying for himself.

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I love Kenmas character development so much <3

Also I plan to post the last chapter later today so be ready!