Little Pieces Of My Soul

Anxiety

It seems so cliche to name a poem anxiety

It seems like as soon as I tell you of my telltale symptoms of sweaty palms and beating hearts

You will laugh

And say

You know nothing of this

You are a child

How could you ever know what it is like

To cry so hard you lose feeling in your face

To bury your feelings so deep down all the time that when you finally let them out

You don't feel relief

You just feel disgusted that you could ever let yourself get that upset

But then I realize that's the anxiety talking

That my brain has become mush

From the countless hours of over working to the point of exhaustion

At the end of my brains 16 hour shift

Before sleep finally hits

There is a brief second where all is still

All is calm

My brain is not going 20 million different directions

All it is focused on is that final sprint toward the finish line

Where all I feel is the peacefulness of my dreams

Dreams I never remember

Sometimes I don't ever want to wake up

Because I know that as soon as I open my eyes

Hurtling towards me is a big ball of irrational fears and speeding hearts

That impact just making me wish

I didn't have to worry about the cliche of naming a poem anxiety