Little Pieces Of My Soul

Untitled One

The silence of my empty house is deafening

The bliss of laziness replaced with a throbbing head and twitchy movements

The soft snores of my dog at the end of the couch is so peaceful

I am jealous of the way he seems to be able to instantly relax

He dreams of a place far beyond this cold island

Where he can run as fast as he can and bark as loud as he wants

All the while curled up in the warm heat of my sofa

I long for the interaction from one person to another

And yet when I have it

I waste it complaining about the stupidity of feeble minds

When I have this peaceful silence

The only sound I hear is the passerby's distant cars

And the lawnmower of my annoying neighbors

And the triumphant screams of their children as they run down the street chasing down an ice cream truck even when it's 40 degrees outside

And just looking at it is enough to give you frostbite

I spend these few pennies of silent time writing away my sorrows of the loneliness of these loud walls

I can never win

The crippling noises of my own thoughts

As my boyfriend ignores me

And my friends don't call

I am a sailboat stranded in the sea

I see nothing but the ugly blue carpet and my yellowed ceiling

I have no captain

And I am wandering aimlessly until I find a place where I belong

Whether that is a beautiful city

A sandy beach

Or the bottom of the ocean

I might as well just go ahead and keep going

Because there isn't a storm on the horizon

And the water is clear and blue

My head is still pounding

And I am still twitching and twiddling and moving

But at least I can see that while my situation isn't the best

I can still write

I can still text

I can still call

I could even do homework

Because I am better now

I have hope

I want to live

I am a person again

And this life is better than any life I have lived before