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❝ the smell of beautiful wilted roses are like hearts that bloom endlessly ❞
深淵
to the intertwined hearts that can never break
「─ TO FALL ENDLESSLY」
⇥ To fall endlessly feels like feeling your body hit the ground
but my body is buried under the feeling of bottomless storms and pits, the abyss grew deeper and deeper. And most of the time that's just the way I feel, because I lie about cracking my head against the wall ─
just so I can keep myself hydrated with the warm blood that once filled my skull onto my hands, cupping it to my mouth so I don't feel that way of falling ever again.
I take a moment to hold my brain and lay it next to me so that when I feel like I'm losing my mind, I can hug it and play the role of a broken
girl in the cold of my room, as I hear the voice of my mother screaming her lungs off outside the bathroom door,
when I have my head inside the water, my skin ─ one with the water and my hair filled the spaces of stranded mosses and frogbit.
Let me not sink in the soil of my grave before I feel my skin pale under the morning light, that peer through the curtains in my freezing room in the dead of summer.
Maybe this was how it was supposed to go, I think, as I walk down the street that buzzed with strange souls each carrying a a beautiful story that held pain and the wonder of love we haven't seen yet.
And when I walk among those thousand broken hearts, I don't feel like my head is under the pond water where moss grow. because I feel my hands intertwined with theirs, when we hug the universe and tell her our stories,
she bursts open into electricity and our hearts glow
once again and our graves are torn open. No longer in a sea of dead strangled mosses but in a world where she tore away our madness ⇤
