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❝ will you ever hear me if i scream ? ❞
to the ones who are fighting toxic smokes and kisses
sometimes i wonder, whether i will ever be able to change who i am. whether i will ever be able to truly understand why i live and what i can do, when i cradle myself in the cold of my room. whether i will ever be the one they were looking for. i can feel angels and demons murmuring into my ears, as i sleep on my couch, hugging the honey-dipped pillows that hug me back.
a war struggles its way through the sevoflurane smoke that thickens into my lungs and like gossamers, my ribs break and the shattered glass remains of my breathe drops into the vast sea of utter nowhere. i wonder who will hear me, as i douse into a water fountain that lays beside the statue of an infant me, me my parents truly so and vanished the moment i reached those destructive teenage years when blades and mirrors talked to me under the light of the darkness.
i feel imperious eyes looking over me as i shut mine and hear screams of children from within my heart, the ones i shot down because of the loud noises that evoked anger and a heartless me. but i call for them, because they hold the kind of music that plunges deep into your throat and vomits out rhythms of the heart and innocence.
like a wretched mother whose heart had been ripped apart at her children's disappearance, i go into that thick smoke of poison and search for them. children of rufescent colors shine in my heart, and i can hear them singing even through this darkness.
