chapter 5

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"no NO ITS NOT," I screamed, my hands shooting up to my ears and covering them. But that was no use, the voice was inside my head, inside.

I have to hurry; I have to hurry.

My steps got faster but messier, I was wobbling and I knew that if im not careful enough ill fall. I couldn't afford to fall right now.

I looked back, four and a half tiles.

I was almost there, halfway through. I had to keep going. But the closer I got the farther the door seemed to move away and it felt like forever before I reached the doorway of the bedroom.

Just a few more steps, please June please.

I looked around the room trying to locate my damn phone and sure enough it was right where I left it last night before you came back home, on the nightstand.

Like a maniac, I took 3 awkward big wobbly steps and jumped on the bed and crawled to my side until the phone was within reach. I grabbed it and scrambled to open it but my hands were shaking too much and I had to re-enter my password around 3 times before I could manage to unlock my phone and access the phone.

Too late...

"NO."

My eyesight was so blurry and it was so hard to see the numbers clearly so it took me a good minute to find the 4 numbers I needed to dial the freaking ambulance.

beeeeep

My heart was beating so fast I felt like it might break my rib cage and tear my skin and set itself free.

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

My palms were so clammy the phone was starting to slip from my hand.

"Hello, what's your emergency?" her voice scared the shit out of me and I jumped so hard I nearly fell off of the bed.

I couldn't speak. My voice abandoned me.

"Hello? Are you okay over there?" her voice was calm and soothing and I tried to use that to calm myself down enough to be able to speak.

"He-help me, please. He- he is on the ground. He is- he is blee-bleeding so much. Please," my voice sounded strange to my own ears.

"ma'am, I need you to calm down. Who is on the floor?"

"my-my...." I couldn't say it.

"is it your husband ma'am?"

"ye-yes."

"is he conscious?"

"N-no," I said, my voice breaking and my tears resuming their falling.

"okay, give me you address please so I can send you an ambulance."

With my voice shaking and breaking off, I did.

She told me to hang on tight, that they'll be here soon to help my... my husband. She told me not to move you. She told me to be calm, that it was going to be okay.

But I knew it wouldn't be.

I don't think I ever cried as hard as I did that day, the tears just kept streaming down my face, hot and salty until the simple act of blinking set my eyes on fire and my eyelids were too sore and heavy to stay open. I also couldn't get myself to even get out of bed to be next to you.

I wonder how many tiles the blood reached now.

Was it five or more? Will it stop at some point?

Shouldn't I try to stop the bleeding?

But she told me not to move you.

you are gone.

NO you aren't.

I have to go to you. I need to be by your side.

Again, my limbs seemed to shut off, decide to go on a strike.

Punishment for hurting him

"get up June please get up."

But I couldn't. this time I really couldn't.

My eyes, sore and swollen, were starting to shut. My eyelids were just too heavy. And my brain, my brain was just giving up. Too much for my brain. Just too much.

I could now make out distant sirens. But they were so distant. It felt like they were coming from some other universe and were happening in someone else's life not mine.

And then, suddenly, calmness hit me, like a soft wave on a beautiful summer evening. It filled me up, starting from my toes reaching my head. And the world lit up for a split second before all went dark.


**

i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it.

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